Saturday, July 27, 2013

Chapter 29

"So, the next day, they were all so hungover the interviews were reduced to yes and no answers and it was a good thing they didn't have to do sound check, 'cause I think their heads would have exploded! Luckily by show time they were mostly recovered. After that it was decided that on nights before work days I would be on call for Jon, and the guys would take the non work ones." Brianna finished regaling Dorothea with the guys' way of keeping Jon distracted. They had a couple days between shows and Dot had once again insisted Brianna stay at their house so that they could continue to document her memories. 

Dorothea just shook her head and leaned forward from her position on one end of the couch to pick up her mug of tea and sipped. "Those guys still haven't grown up! They used to pull that shit 20 years ago, except then they were young enough to be able to drink that much and still function the next day. I had hoped that they would have gotten smart in their old age, but apparently not."

"Hey!" Jon scowled as he passed through the room. "We're not old."

The women watched him leave the room, looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"That's what he objected to?" Brianna wiped tears from her eyes.

Dorothea grinned. She'd been waiting for just such an opportunity. "I caught him checking out his crow's feet in the mirror this morning." She paused. "Let me fill you in on one of Jon's little secrets - or at least what he thinks is a secret. Despite his protestations about how much he hates all the talk about his looks, he knows what side his bread is buttered on, and will play it up as much as he can if it will help the project he's working on. But it has to be on his terms, otherwise he'll just get mad."

"So, how does he handle it when you comment on his looks?" Brianna was curious. No woman alive could deny Jon was a good looking man, but even the fans knew it was a taboo subject - at least in his presence, so she wondered how his wife dealt with it, especially since she'd seen with her own eyes that they were an affectionate couple.

"I don't usually...unless he looks like shit. He gets enough adulation from the public, his ego doesn't need boosting in that area. My job is to keep him grounded. So I focus more on the charitable projects he gets involved with." She glanced at her watch. "We’d better get dinner started."

Brianna watched her stand, prepared to help if she needed it, and followed her into the kitchen. "What's on the menu tonight?"

The two women worked side by side in comfortable companionship.

One of the things Dorothea liked best about Brianna was that she didn't treat her like an invalid. Instead of trying to do everything for her, Brianna would help her, making sure she didn't over do it without making a big fuss. She had help with the kids and around the house when Jon was gone, but sent them away when he and Brianna came home. She still had much to teach Brianna and not a lot of time to do it.

While they worked, Dorothea would tell Brianna stories, not only about the kids, but also about Jon and their life together. They were usually amusing tales, but also gave insight into Jon's personality and the workings of his mind. If Jon was in the room, he just rolled his eyes, or occasionally gave his version of events. What had Dorothea feeling smug and chuckling to herself was that neither one realized what she was doing. She didn't know how long that would last, but in the meantime it made her job a little easier.


After dinner and a movie, Brianna helped Dorothea put Jake and Romeo to bed, then settled into her own room with her laptop to continue transcribing the recordings Dorothea had made. About half an hour later, there was a soft knock on her door. "Come in."

Stephanie stuck her head in the door. "Am I interrupting?"

"No, come on in. What's up?"

Closing the door behind her, Stephanie climbed onto the bed. Sitting cross legged, she watched her hands toy with the hem of her pant leg. "Mom seems to be doing pretty well, don't you think?"

Brianna set aside her laptop and shifted until she could face her visitor and focus her full attention. Dorothea had confided that she was concerned that Stephanie wasn't coping well and still wouldn't talk about her illness. "Yes, she is. She tires easily, but her pain seems to be controlled." It was an adult topic, and Stephanie was a smart girl. If she was finally reaching out, Brianna wasn't about to crush her attempt by talking to her like a child.

Stephanie nodded, but didn't look up from her hands.

Silence filled the room, but Brianna didn't push, she just kept quiet and let Stephanie find her words in her own time.

"What's.......what's going to happen to her?"

Oh God! How did I get chosen for this conversation? It was Brianna's turn to take her time before answering. "Well, as the cancer spreads, she'll get weaker and she'll need more meds to control the pain." She hoped that would satisfy her curiosity.

No such luck.

"But, when she......how will it happen?"

Shit! "She'll probably just go to sleep."

"Will she be in a lot of pain?"

"She'll have morphine to make her as comfortable as possible."

"How long......when...." Stephanie blew out a breath, unable to get the words out. Her eyes filled with tears.

Brianna moved closer, reached out and squeezed her hand. "No one can say for sure. But it won't be tomorrow or next week. Just appreciate each day that you have with her....and let her know how much you love her."

Stephanie gripped Brianna's hand tightly, nodded and stayed silent for a few moments. Sniffing, she made a visible effort to pull herself together. "So, how's the tour going? The uncles driving you nuts yet?"

Brianna accepted the change of subject and laughed. "No. They're fine."

"Mmmmm. Watch out for Uncle Tico. He seems like the calm, serious one, but he's the king of practical jokes. And they won’t be anything you’d expect. Keep an eye out."

"Really? Okay, good to know."

"Well, I'm going to bed."

"Nite Steph, sleep well."

"You too." Stephanie slid off the bed but stopped at the door. "Bri....thanks."

"Anytime sweetie." Brianna stared at the closed door for several moments after Stephanie left, running their conversation through her head before sighing and turning back to her laptop. Her armor may have cracked, but that girl is still in a world of pain. But at least it looked like the denial was gone.


An hour later, there was another knock on her door. "Come in."

"Hey." Jon entered and closed the door behind him.

"Hey." Once again Brianna set aside her laptop. While he often contacted her at night when they were on the road, he never had before here at the house. Something must be bothering him, but she knew to stay silent and wait for him to speak. Like father like daughter.

Jon paced around the room. "Are you comfortable enough here?" He frowned at her laptop on the bed. "We could bring a desk in here."

"It's fine. I'm quite comfortable." She assured him.

He paced to the window and stared out, but Brianna had a feeling he wasn't really seeing the view. "She's doing pretty well, don't you think?"

Deja vu! She had to smile. "Yes, she is."

"What are you smiling about?" He could see her reflection in the window.

"As much as you say Steph is like her mother, she's a lot like you." When he turned his head and raised one eyebrow, she explained. "She was here an hour ago and said pretty much the same thing."

A second eyebrow joined the first. "She's talking?"

"Starting to anyway." Brianna knew what he needed to hear. "She's beginning to accept it. I think she'll start to open up a little bit more now."

Jon nodded. "Good. One down. Can you work on Jesse next?"

“I think you may have better luck there than I would. Man to man might get farther at his age.”

Jon gave her a considering look. “When do you think the little ones will clue in?”

“Jon, I’m not a grief counselor or psychologist.”

“I know, but you have good instincts about people. What does your gut tell you?”

She thought for a moment. “Romeo probably won’t until…after… and then he’ll have a pretty rough time for awhile. But he’ll probably also rebound the fastest. Jake will notice near the end when she gets really weak, but won’t really understand until after.”

He nodded and turned back towards the window.

Silence filled the room again.

"Jon, is there something..."

"I want to thank you," He interrupted, "for all you've done for Dorothea and my family.......for me." He acknowledged. "I know this is above and beyond your job description and a lot to dump on you. You've been a great help. I know I don't say it enough, but I wanted to make sure you know how much I appreciate it." He finally turned his head to look at her and she could see the unshed tears shining in the blue depths. "Really. We all do."

Brianna felt her own eyes start to burn. "I'm happy to help. Really. Whatever any of you need."

He nodded curtly. "I'll let you get some rest. Nite."

"Nite." For the second time that night, Brianna found herself staring at the closed door and contemplating a Bongiovi's state of mind. This family's in a lot of pain and the worst is yet to come. It was a good thing the guys were willing to help out. She had a feeling it was going to take everything they all had to get them through.


Saturday, July 20, 2013

Chapter 28


The rest of the band, along with Paul, Obie and Brianna were sitting in catering debating Jon's attitude - well, the guys were, Brianna just listened and tried to diffuse tempers where she could.

"I'm sure he must have a reason for being so....testy." She suggested.

"I don't give a fuck what his problem is! It doesn't give him the right to treat people like shit!" David argued.

"I just don't understand why he won't tell us what's going on." Tico added.

Richie had been watching Brianna and noting her reactions. "You know something, don't you."

At that moment she could strangle Jon for putting her in this position. She didn't want to lie to them, but she'd promised to keep quiet. "I…"

Luckily, Jon walked in and saved her from answering. "We need to have a band meeting. Now. Paul, Obie, you guys too." He looked at Brianna. "You'd better come too."

When they were all inside his dressing room, Jon nodded at Brianna to lock the door. He needed to get through this without any interruptions.

Leaning against the table, Jon looked at his friends and tried to figure out where to start. Brianna wanted to help him, but sensed it was best to let them sort this out themselves.

It was Richie who took the bull by the horns. "What's going on Jon?"

Jon sighed and just blurted it out. "Dorothea has cancer." He didn't know how else to say it.

The group sat in stunned silence. Then they all started talking at once.

"Aw man, that blows."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"How's she feeling?"

Then there was the question that no one knew how to ask.

"How long....?"

"What.......?"

They couldn't get the words out, but Jon knew what they were trying to ask.

"The doctor says a year.....tops."

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" David demanded. "No wonder you've been pissed at the world lately. Why didn't you let us help? I thought we were family."

Jon sighed, but answered honestly. "Because I needed one area of my life where I could escape......a cancer free zone."

"So instead you decided to go it alone." Tico's opinion of that was evident in his harsh tone.

"Not completely, though,..right?" Richie turned in his chair to look at Brianna. "You knew didn't you." It wasn't really a question.

She glanced at Jon, but there was no point in hiding anything now. "Yes."

His head swivelled back to Jon as the pieces fell into place. "And all the yelling at her and treating her so badly......that was you venting your pain and frustration." He barely waited for Jon's curt nod before returning his gaze to Brianna. "And that's why you took it."

"Yes. I knew it wasn't really directed at me."

"And the times you were seen coming out of his room early in the morning that you said were work related...."

"It really was work. He needed the distraction."

Richie nodded his understanding and fixed his gaze on Jon once more. "That's a pretty heavy load to put on her man, no matter how strong she is. No wonder she's exhausted."

Jon grimaced.

"It hasn't been that bad." Brianna rushed to assure him. "I don't mind."

"It's not a matter of whether you mind or not, it's about what's fair to expect from you." Tico informed her.

"But no worries. You've got us to help now." David assured her.

"But only the people in this room please." Jon requested. "It's not technically a secret, but I'd rather it wasn't spread around the world at this point."

They knew what he meant - keep it away from the media for as long as possible.

"Agreed." Paul spoke for the group. "Any thoughts of cancelling dates?"

Jon shook his head. "No. Dot wants to keep things as normal as possible for as long as possible."

After a couple minutes silence, Obie stood up. "I've got to check a few things before the show." Clapping a hand on Jon's shoulder, he squeezed before turning and starting for the door.

His words seemed to signal a mass exodus. Brianna unlocked the door and let them all out, but remained inside herself.

Jon picked up his phone. "Bri..."

She understood that he wanted to be left alone. "I'll go get your ginseng ready." Her lips twitched. "Yell if you need me."

He gave a snort of laughter and waved her out the door.

In the hallway, Richie grabbed her arm and urged her into his dressing room where David, Tico and Paul were waiting.

"How is Dot doing?" David asked. "And where is the cancer?"

"It started in her pancreas, but it's spreading. They've found a spot on her lung. From what I've seen, she's doing pretty good, all things considered. They gave her meds to manage her pain and she seems......calm and accepting, and only a little sad. She's determined to make the most of the time she has left with her family and is trying to help prepare them for when she's gone."

They shook their heads in wonder.

"She always was the logical, practical one." Tico commented, unsurprised.

Richie nodded. "Zen warrior."

Paul caught Brianna's eye. "Talk to me about Jon."
  
She debated her response. "He's doing.....okay. But he doesn't want to talk about it. I think he's still hoping for a miracle."

He nodded. "I figured that when he said no to cancelling tour dates. You will tell us if there's anything we can do, right?"

"Yes, I will."

"And make sure you tell us when he's leaning on you too hard." Richie pointed a finger at her. "He's dealing with a lot of shit. Don't try and cope with it by yourself. Share the load. Let us help."

Brianna's eyes filled as she looked around and smiled at her new friends. The sense of family surrounding this group of men was not just hype or pretty words for the media or to project an image. It was real. And once you were accepted into the group you always had someone looking out for you....whether you wanted them to or not.

Richie stepped up and hugged her. "We'll look after him tonight, you get some rest."

She frowned. "But you guys need to rest too."

David shook his head. "You've been carrying the load alone for far too long. You've done a great job, but you deserve a break. We've got this tonight."

It felt like a huge weight had been taken off her shoulders. "Thanks."



The guys had just taken to the stage when Brianna felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Pulling it out, she saw Dorothea's name on the screen and quickly moved away from the stage to a quieter area of the arena. "Hi Dot. Is something wrong? Jon just hit the stage."

"Then I timed it right. We can talk without him interrupting."

Brianna stepped into Jon's dressing room and sat down. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to see how you were holding up. Jon told me what happened there today."

"Yeah, it's been a...day."

"Well, now that the guys know, you'll have some help."

"So I've been informed. In fact, I've been instructed to leave him to them tonight and get some rest."

Dorothea chuckled. "They can be a bit overwhelming at times, but they mean well. And they will be a big help to you."

"I know." Brianna felt herself choking up again.

Dorothea could hear it in Brianna's voice. "Bri? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

"And maybe realizing what it means to be a part of the inner circle?" Dorothea's voice was knowing.

"It really is like a family."

"Yep. With all the good and bad traits that go with it. You just gained three more brothers. Luckily, you're familiar with how that works. I only have sisters. It was a bit of a shock for me."

Brianna didn't bother to explain that it would be a bit of a shock for her too. Aside from her mother, her family wasn't real close. Her brothers took after their father - business first and foremost, and family when there was time.

She wondered if she was finally going to find out what her girlfriends with brothers were always talking/complaining about. What it felt like to be cherished and protected by the men in her family.


Saturday, July 13, 2013

Chapter 27


The next few weeks of the tour were beyond busy for Brianna. Between her regular duties, spending her at home days in Red Bank transcribing Dorothea's memories and trying to keep up with Jon's roller coaster mood swings, she was physically and mentally exhausted.

"You okay Beautiful? You're looking a little pale." David stood behind her chair in catering, set his hands on her shoulders and massaged gently. "Wow. You're really tight." He rubbed harder. 

"Mmmmm. I'm fine, just tired." She closed her eyes as his strong fingers worked out knots. "I was going to try to find some time for a massage in the spa at the hotel, but maybe I should just book some time with you!"

He chuckled. "Anytime."

"God that feels good! Where'd you learn how to do that?"

"Hours of piano practice. An old girlfriend said she thought this was an even better use of the strong fingers I developed."

"Mmmmmm. I can see why she said that."

A few minutes later Jon came in and headed for the coffee.

Brianna stood. "Oh! Jon, I...."

"Not now." It wasn't quite a growl, but it was close.

Great. Dorothea must be having a bad day. "I just..."

"For fucks sake! Can't I have a fucking cup of coffee in peace? Every time I turn around you're there! Can't you just leave me alone for five fucking minutes?!"

Without a word, Brianna spun on her heel and left the room, tears brought on more from exhaustion than hurt feelings burning her eyes.

David saw the telltale shininess and frowned at his bandmate. "What the fuck's wrong with you?"

"What?"

"Don't play dumb. She's busting her ass for you. Why are you being such a prick to her?"

"I'm not." Jon argued.

"You are! She's running all over, catering to your every whim - at all hours of the day and night from what I hear - and all you ever do is yell at her."

"I don't!"

"You do." Richie had passed Brianna in the hallway, noted her distress and entered the room in time to hear David's last comment. "It doesn't seem to matter what she does, you yell at her. I thought you said she was doing a good job."

"She is."

"Then why are you being such an asshole?" Richie shook his head. "What's going on with you man? We all know you're intense and a little moody, but give the girl a break."

"Nothing's going on." He slammed his cup down. "Jesus! Why does everyone around me feel like they have the right to stick their noses in my business?"

"Well forgive the fuck out of us for being concerned about you!" David sneered. "You want us to leave you alone? Fine! We can do that."

The raised voices echoing down the hallway had Brianna stopping and turning around. "Shit!" She knew this was going to happen! She knew the guys weren't going to ignore Jon's behavior forever. Sooner or later, somebody was going to snap.  Looked like sooner had arrived.

She reached the door at the same time as Tico who'd come from the other direction, drawn by his band mates' angry voices.

"What's going on?"

Brianna shrugged. "I don't know, but we need to break it up."

"Careful nina, you don't want to get caught in the crossfire." He stepped through the doorway. "That's my job."

"You've turned into a pompous prima donna!" David and Jon were standing nose to nose - or at least within an inch or two.

Jon snorted. "Don't forget, if it wasn't for me, you'd be...."

"Stop it!" Brianna pushed her way between them. "Stop it before you both say things you'll regret and can't take back!"

David's expression softened as he shifted his gaze to her. "You don't have to put up with his abuse you know. You don't deserve it."

"I don't abuse her!" Jon stepped closer again.

"I've seen it!" David stepped forward too.

"Fuck you!"

Feeling rather like a piece of meat in a sandwich, Brianna pushed them both back again. "I said stop it!" She blew out a frustrated breath. "Come on! You guys have been friends for too long......been through too much....to fight over....me!" She set a hand on David's chest. "I appreciate your concern, really, but I'm fine. Jon's not abusing me. He's not hurting me in any way." If they only knew the one in pain, was him!

"Then why we're you crying a few minutes ago?" Richie spoke up.

"Because I'm exhausted. Believe me, if he was abusing me, or treated me in any way I found unacceptable, I'd be gone faster than the panties of the groupies waiting outside your dressing room door in the 80s."

Richie's lips twitched, but he refused to be distracted. "You may be willing to accept it, but that doesn't excuse the way he's acting." His eyes caught Jon's. "Not cool man."

Brianna could feel Jon tense even more at her back. "Tico!"

But Tico wasn't prepared to cut Jon any slack and shook his head. "I know you're trying to do your job and protect him mija, but Rich is right. He's being an asshole and it's gotta stop."

Obie stepped into the room, seemingly oblivious to the tension. "Jon, I need you to come out to the sound board. We've made a few changes to the lighting and I need your opinion." It was a lame excuse, but it worked.

With a curt nod, Jon followed him out the door.

"This isn't finished!" David called after him.

Brianna blew out a relieved breath and tried to think of a way to end the fight before irreparable damage was done, without revealing things she shouldn't. "Guys, please just let it go."

David shook his head. "Not until he tells us what the fuck is going on with him."

"And apologizes to you." Tico added.

"And starts treating you decently." Was Richie's stipulation.

"It doesn't bother me, really. I've dealt with worse." She tried again.

"It bothers us." Tico ended the discussion.



Jon finally tracked Brianna down in his quick change area under the stage, checking his supplies. The arena was empty and silent. The crew was finished and grabbing a bite to eat while they could, and the doors wouldn't open to the public for another hour or so.

He sank into the chair and watched her. "I'm not abusing you....am I?"

"Of course not."

"Don't give me an employee's answer, be honest. Obviously the guys are seeing something. I haven't seen them that pissed at me in a long time."

Brianna leaned against the table and studied his face, debating how much honesty he could handle – and not fire her. "I wouldn't call it abusive. You're short-tempered and demanding, but it's nothing I can't handle."

He grimaced. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't. I knew when Dorothea told me about her illness and asked me to look after you that this was going to happen. I understand, and I don't take it personally. I'm happy to do what I can to help. And at least you usually only blow up at me and not the unsuspecting crew." She paused. "The guys would understand too, if they knew." Jon started to shake his head, but she wasn't finished. "I know that you don't want to tell them. I know that this is your last bastion of peace where you can escape the reality of what's happening at home for a little while."

At his surprised look, she smiled wryly. "As you pointed out earlier, I've been spending a lot of time close to you - and your wife - lately. I have some idea of what you're going through....and how your mind works." She sighed. "Jon…you're dealing with one of the worst things a man will ever have to go through in his life. But you don't have to be the macho tough guy and try to cope all alone. No one does - it's too hard." She paused then, encouraged that he was actually listening to her, continued. "The guys are going to find out sooner or later - the next time they see the kids if not sooner. As adorable as Jake is, he can't keep a secret to save his life."

Jon had to smile at that - she was right. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Wouldn't it be better if they found out from you first?"

He frowned down at his hands. He was feeling cornered and didn't like it. His instinctive reaction when being pushed in a direction he didn’t want to go – even if it was the right one – was to push back. But Brianna had already had to deal with enough of his bad temper.

Voices of approaching crew members kept them quiet.

"Anyone know where Jon is?"

"Probably with his ‘personal assistant’." The air quotes around her job title were obvious in his tone of voice.

"I can just imagine what she 'assists' him with."

"Lucky bastard. I wouldn't mind her 'assisting' me."

"You'd think he'd be in a better mood though."

"Mmmmm. Good point."

The voices faded as the men moved off .

Brianna frowned, and Jon wondered if it was because the crew obviously thought they were sleeping together....or because they were questioning if she was any good. He raised a brow at her.

Brianna rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Think about what I said." She stood. "Do you need anything?"

"No. Go on and eat." He had some thinking to do.

After she left, he stared up at the picture of Frank Sinatra above the table. The idea that Brianna understood him so well was scary as hell.....yet also oddly comforting. The worst part was she had a point. Maybe more than one. He hadn't realized he was being so hard on her. As much as he appreciated her help, that wasn't fair to her. David was right, she didn't deserve it.

David. Wow. He hadn't seen David that pissed at him in a long time. He thought punches were going to be thrown. Tico looked like he couldn't decide whether to break it up, or throw a few punches of his own. Even Richie had lost his laid back attitude. All of it in defence of Brianna.  Apparently his assistant had wormed her way under their protective shield.

If he was being completely honest with himself, he would have to acknowledge that Brianna wasn't the only reason his friends were pissed at him. They knew something was wrong and the fact that he locked them out only added fuel to the fire. They shared everything - and not only because they spent more time with each other than with their families most years.

Dorothea warned him this would happen when he rejected her pleas to tell his band mates. And now Brianna was warning him he would cause further damage to their friendship - their brotherhood - if he didn't tell them before they heard it from someone else. But this is too personal! Then he thought about how he would feel if one of the others kept something this important from him....and grimaced. His withholding would seem like a betrayal to them.

Sighing, he stood and stepped through the curtain. As he made his way out from under the stage, he wondered how the women in his life could be right every fucking time!



Saturday, July 6, 2013

Chapter 26


Jon pulled his gaze away from the view of the Navesink out his office window and brought his attention back to his immediate vicinity as his wife entered the room and sat down. She looked a little pale, but otherwise well. She'd even managed to hide the few spots where her hair had fallen out with a little clever combing.

"I've asked Brianna to come out."

He frowned. "We don't leave until tomorrow morning."

"I know. I've asked her to come and stay over."

"Why?"

"I need someone I can talk to about what I'm going through. And since you won’t agree to tell anyone outside the family, not even our closest friends, Brianna is in the best position to help me." In more ways than one.

"You have your sisters."

"Yes, but they'll just get overly emotional. I need someone who will listen and help me sort things out. Not cry every time."

"What things?"

"Things you don't want to talk about." He was trying, but she knew he was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that she wasn't going to be around. She was hoping Brianna was going to be able to help with that too.

Jon wanted to be understanding, but he wasn't sure he was comfortable with this. "Brianna's my assistant."

"Yes, and I won't interfere with her job." When he didn't look relieved, it only took Dorothea a few seconds to figure out why. She sighed. "Whether you're comfortable with it or not, Brianna is already a part of the inner circle. If I have my way, she's going to be around here a lot. Better get used to it."

He knew better than to argue with her. And whether he chose to admit it or not, a part of him wasn't really upset at the prospect.




Brianna pulled through the gates and parked in her usual spot near the house. She had no idea why Dorothea had invited - insisted really - that she come out a day early and spend the night. Sure it was February, and anything could happen weather wise in New Jersey, but she didn't think a possible storm had anything to do with it.

Grabbing her bag from the back seat, she approached the door, only to have it open before she could knock. Jesse glanced up from the game in his hand. "Hey. Mom's in the den with the rug rats."

"Thanks." She was talking to empty air.....Jesse had already turned away and started climbing the stairs. "Okaaay. Guess I'll just go on in to the den."  Not knowing what else to do, she set her bag down in the foyer and headed into the house.

"Bianna!" Jake saw her first when she appeared in the doorway. Running over, he hugged her before grabbing her hand and tugging her over to the couch where his mother was sitting.

"Hey." Brianna sat down and glanced at the photo album in Dorothea's lap. A fat cheeked, blue eyed baby grinned up from the page. "Who is that?"

"Jesse. I've been sorting through pictures, making albums for the kids." A sad smile curved her lips, her hand lovingly stroked the baby's face. "Something to help them remember."

Brianna didn't know quite what to say. Luckily, Jake climbing onto her lap saved her from having to. "Mommy sick." He informed her.

A questioning glance at Dorothea was answered with a brief nod. "I know buddy." She gave him a squeeze. "So you need to give her lots of hugs and kisses to make her feel better. Okay?"

"Okay!" With that he wiggled off her lap to climb on his mother's, his little arms wrapping around her neck. He planted a wet sloppy kiss on her cheek."I wuv you Mommy."

"I love you too buddy." Dorothea shot a grateful look at Brianna.

Brianna winked at her and, responding to the hands on her knee, lifted Romeo onto her lap. "Hey little man. How are you?"

Romeo just grinned, leaned against her and stuck his thumb in his mouth.

After a few minutes, Jake got bored and ran off to play. Dorothea turned to Brianna. "You're probably wondering why I asked you to come out here today. I have a favour to ask you. I want to tell the stories of each of the kids’ births and their lives up until now. Stories Jon won't remember but they might like to know. I was wondering.....hoping....that you might help me get them all down."

"Sure. Absolutely." She hesitated.

"I know it will mean giving up a lot of your time off..."

"I don't care about that." Brianna waved off her concern. "I have a suggestion, if I can."

"Sure."

"I think you should record them as well. I'm more than happy to transcribe and format them for you, but I think they'd like to hear them.....in your voice....as well. And maybe take some new pictures too?"
Dorothea's eyes filled. "I knew you'd understand what I wanted to do. I think that’s a great idea. As for the pictures…I’m working on that. Jon gave me a new camera for Christmas. Come on. Let's go upstairs and I'll show you the room I picked out for you."



After dinner Brianna followed Jon back to his office. "Are you okay with....this? My being here? I don't want to intrude into such a private family matter."

He shrugged. "It's fine. Whatever she wants." He pinned her with a glance. "I mean that Bri. Whatever Dorothea wants, she gets." He paused. "At least if it's in my power to give it to her."

"Have you thought about cancelling the tour?"

"She doesn't want me to. She wants things to be as normal as possible.....for as long as possible. And I'm going to do my best to give that to her."

Brianna nodded her understanding. "How do you feel about me taking some pictures – some family shots – for the albums she’s putting together for the kids?"

"That sounds like a great idea. Thanks. I’ll get her camera and meet you in the living room." They were going to watch a movie.



Before and during the movie, Brianna moved around the room periodically and snapped pictures of the family. Dorothea sat on the couch with Romeo in her lap, Jon close beside her. Jesse was in a chair beside his mother and Stephanie in the matching chair at the other end of the couch, Jake was up and down like a yo-yo in reaction to the action on the screen.

Finally, Jon got fed up. "Jake! Either sit on the couch or on the floor, but please stop jumping around!"

With a huffing pout, Jake climbed onto the cushion beside his father....and stayed there.

Brianna grinned and impulsively snapped a picture of his expression. Her gaze travelled back to Stephanie and she sobered. Obviously, the young girl was having a hard time processing the changes her family was facing. She remembered what it was like to be that age, all the confusing, uncontrollable and sometimes scary changes happening in your body. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to not have her mother there to talk to.

When Stephanie went into the kitchen to get drinks and snacks, Brianna followed to help.

"How are you doing Steph?"

"I'm fine! I wish everyone would stop asking me that!"

Brianna hesitated and heard her mother's voice follow your instincts. "Steph.....there's no deadline for you to be ready to accept this, you know. It's different for everybody. You can take as much time as you need. Don't let anyone rush you or make you feel guilty for taking your time. You can talk about as much as you want....or not if you're not comfortable. Although, when crap has happened in my life I've always found that talking about makes me feel better. But it's all about what works for you. Okay?"

"Okay."

Brianna nodded and picked up the tray of drinks.

"Brianna?" Stephanie stopped her before she left the room. "Can I….talk to you sometime…you know, if I need to?"

Brianna’s heart swelled. "Anytime."

Dorothea glanced up as Brianna handed her a cup of tea."Thanks." Her eyes darted over to her daughter and back again. One dark eyebrow rose.

Brianna understood the unspoken question and smiled reassuringly. "It's all good."

She was barely settled back in her chair before Jake climbed up and curled up with her. By the end of the movie both toddlers were sound asleep, but neither woman felt the need to rush to put them in their beds.


Dorothea looked around the room at her family, all looking so content. Even Stephanie looked less.....distraught. Her gaze lingered on Brianna and Jake and she realized she felt more at peace than she had in months.