Saturday, December 27, 2014

Chapter 104


A few days later, Brianna handed a letter across the desk to Jon and glanced at her watch. "Don't you need to pick up Steph and Jesse from school?"

He looked at her and winced. "Did I forget to tell you? They want you to pick them up today."

"Me? Why?"

Jon shrugged. "I don't know. Steph just said to make sure you picked them up."

Brianna frowned. "I wonder what that's all about?" Rising, she started for the door and paused. "Did you put me on the list with  the schools' security?"

"No." He looked back down at the letter. "Dot did."

"Oh. Okay. I'll be back in a bit."

"Mmmhmm."



Brianna found a parking spot in front of the school and went inside. She saw Jesse standing near the office talking to a well built very attractive brunette close to Brianna's age. As she got closer it became clear that he was being talked at rather than talked to....and he didn't look happy about it. When the woman's words reached her, she wasn't too happy about it either.

"When is your father coming? Such a wonderful man. I bet he's lonely. You really must tell him to call me....if he wants some adult company."

Brianna clenched her jaw. "Hey Jesse. You ready to go?"

The relief was obvious in the boy's face and posture. "Hey. Yeah."

"Jesse?" The woman put a protective hand on his shoulder. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your...friend?"

"Sure. This is Brianna.....my stepmother. Brianna, this is Miss Fuller, my social studies teacher."

"Hello." Brianna held out her hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Stepmother?" The teacher choked out the word, shaking Brianna's hand out of reflex.

Brianna smiled. "Well, not officially yet." She held up her left hand and the overhead light set the diamond sparkling. "But soon. Jon and I are engaged."

"Oh. Well. Congratulations." Making her excuses, Miss Fuller escaped into the office.

Brianna noticed Jesse's smirk, but decided to let it go. One hand reached out to ruffle his hair. "Come on. Let's go get your sister."

As they walked down the hallway, several of the older boys did a double take at Brianna. A couple gave Jesse the thumbs up. Jesse stood up straighter. Brianna stifled a grin and pretended not to notice any of it.


They found Stephanie talking with a group of her girlfriends just outside the door of the school. As they watched, a woman Brianna assumed was one of the girls' mother approached the group. Stephanie glanced around. Catching sight of Brianna, she turned her back towards her, put her hand behind her back and waved her fingers.

"You should go over there." Jesse advised.

"You think so?"

He nodded. "Yeah. She wants you to."

"Okay." Something's going on here. Studying the group of females as she walked towards them, she noted that the older woman had had some work done....in several areas. How can anyone tell whether she's happy or mad? Her face doesn't move! "Hey Steph. Hi girls."

"Hey." Stephanie introduced the girls she hadn't met before. "And this is Mrs. Marinelli. Angela's mother."

"Nice to meet you." Brianna smiled and held out her hand.

"Hello....Brianna is it?"

"Yes."

The other woman was silent for a moment and may have been thinking. Brianna couldn't tell. "Oh yes. You're Jon's assistant."

"Oh!" Stephanie gasped and grabbed the arm of the friend closest to her. "Didn't I tell you? Dad and Brianna are engaged!"

"Really? Congratulations!"

"Yeah. On his birthday we set up a scavenger hunt for his gifts and he turned it around at the end and proposed!" Stephanie sighed. "It was so romantic!" She grabbed Brianna's hand. "Show them you ring! I helped pick it out."

While the girl's ooohed and aaahed over her ring - and Mrs. Marinelli continued to look stunned, Brianna struggled not to laugh.

When they finally loaded into the car, Brianna looked both kids in the eye. "Are there any others who you think.....need to have their hopes dashed?"

"Oh! We weren't...umm" Jesse looked at his sister for help.

Stephanie exchanged a long look with Brianna and smirked. "We'll let you know."

"Mmm...thanks." They drove in silence for a few minutes, but finally Brianna couldn't resist. "So do you think Mrs. Marinelli was really upset or just shocked?"

"Who can tell?" Stephanie answered.

"I want to know how she doesn't tip over." Jesse commented. "And whether she'd bounce or explode if she landed on her chest."

"Jesse!" Brianna choked on laughter and spluttered. After a moment's consideration, her lips twitched. "They'd explode under the pressure."

A second later, laughter filled the car.




Five minutes after Brianna left to pick up the kids, the gate buzzer went off. Jon frowned, put down the letter he was reading and got up to answer it. "Yes?"

"Jon, it's Lisa Wilson.....Brianna's sister-in-law."

"Hi Lisa, come on in." He pushed the button to open the gate and went to meet her at the door.

"Sorry to just barge in on you like this." Lisa apologized as she stepped into the house.

"No problem, but Brianna's not here right now."

"Good. It's you I want to talk to."

"Okay." Her determined tone had him bracing himself. "Let me take your coat and we can go into my office." Hanging up her coat he led the way. "The squirts are playing in the living room." He ducked his head in to check on them. "You guys remember Bri's sister-in-law Lisa?"

Jake looked at her for a moment. "Connor's mom?"

"Right." Lisa smiled. "Are you guys having fun?"

"Uh huh."

"Guys, Lisa and I will be in the office." Jon informed the little boys.

"Okay."

In his office Jon waved Lisa to a chair and took the one beside it. "What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Brianna."

"Okay. What about her?"

"I know that you have dealt with her for quite awhile now and know her pretty well, but there are parts of her that she keeps well hidden. For the two of you to make a relationship work I think you need to be aware of a few things." Lisa explained. "You've seen how her father is and can probably imagine what it was like for Brianna growing up."

Jon nodded. "She made me promise to never make Stephanie feel less important - less capable - than her brothers. At the time I wasn't a hundred percent sure why she was so adamant about me saying the words out loud. That family dinner was an eye opener."

"Yeah. Even though she acts all strong and independent, underneath it all is still that little girl trying to get her father's approval. That's the major reason she married Alex. We could see he wasn't right for her, but he represented everything her father thought was best for her."

"And she ended up being hurt even more."

Lisa nodded. "When she told us that she'd taken a job with a rock star we were all - well except for Edward - thrilled that she was going in a completely different direction." She smiled wryly. "Michael and Richard were a little concerned, given the whole 'rockstar' lifestyle, stigma and stereotypes, so they did an extensive background check. Sorry."

Jon waved aside her apology. "I would have done the same in their place."

"We knew she was okay work wise, but when you started dating we had bigger concerns. I don't know what your intentions are towards her..."

"Purely hon..."

"And I know it's not really my business, but Brianna is a wonderful person who deserves to be loved."

"I agree."

"She's been used and let down by most of the men I her life, so.."

"I know and.."

"She's been through so much, we just want her to be happy.."

"Lisa..."

"So if you're not sure you're in this for the long haul..."

"Lisa..."

"If you're just enjoying her for the moment...."

"LISA!"  When he was sure she was going to keep silent, he smirked. "Get her to show you her ring."


Saturday, December 20, 2014

Chapter 103


"Wh...what?" She couldn't have heard him right even though she was staring at a three carat radiant cut yellow diamond solitaire set in a brushed platinum band.

Jon reached over with his other hand to grasp hers. "After I asked you to move in and you were so hesitant, I spent a lot of time thinking about why and what I could do make you feel more comfortable. I realized that your concerns are all about security.....long term commitment." He lifted the ring. "This is as committed as it gets. I love you. My kids love you. We need you with us." He searched her eyes. "If I learned anything over the last couple of years it's that life's too short to take time for granted. When you find love and happiness, you have to grab it and hold on tight."

He looked down at their hands. "Dorothea tried to tell me that we would be good together, that you were who I needed, but I didn't listen. I should have. She always knew me so well." He smiled wryly. "And she was right, as usual. I can't and won't fight it anymore. I need you with me. Beside me. Always."

The mention of Dorothea and her 'plan' reminded Brianna of some of her doubts about even trying to have a relationship with him. How would she ever know if he was with her because he truly love her or because it's what Dorothea wanted? And now he wanted her to marry him? Did she dare? She loved him, but what if one day he woke up and decided he'd been pushed into something because it was easy and comfortable, but it wasn't what he wanted?

Should she follow her head or her heart?

Jon saw the indecision in her face. "Do you love me?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to be with me? Everyday and every night?"

"Yes." She answered honestly.

"Then what's the problem?"

Her mind raced to come up with a believable reason to delay. "The kids...."

"Love you and are all for this. Stephanie helped pick out the ring. There's nothing stopping us." He didn't mention their request not to rush the wedding. He'd deal with that later - or more likely, knowing Brianna, he wouldn't have to. She'd take her cues from the kids. He squeezed her hand. "We make each other happy, don't we?"

"Yes."

"Then marry me Golden Eyes."

She searched his eyes, debating her answer. She could make arguments either way, but when it came right down to it, he was right. Life's too short not to grab at happiness when you found it. Being with Jon and his children made her feel happier and more fulfilled than she had in a very long time. If she didn't take the chance she might regret it for the rest of her life.

Her lips twitched. "Isn't that supposed to be a question not a demand?"

He grinned, blue eyes twinkling now that he was sure of her answer. "Sorry. You're right. My bad." He cleared his throat. "Brianna Prentiss. Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife? Share my home, my life? Help me raise my children?" His lips twitched. "Remind me of my manners?"

Amber eyes shining, Brianna smiled. "Yes."

Jon slid the ring on her finger and leaned over to kiss her. "I love you."

"I love you too." She stroked his cheek. A beam of sunlight caught her ring, making the stone glow and sparkle. Brianna lifted her hand and shifted it watching it react to the light. "Steph did a great job. It's beautiful."

"She just approved it. I picked it out." He grumbled. His hand caught hers and he looked from the glowing diamond to her eyes. "The colour reminded me of your eyes. My Golden Eyes."

"Mmm." She leaned over to kiss him.

When it ended, Jon frowned. "Speaking of kids...."

"Yeah, I guess we should get back to the house."

He waved that aside. "They're fine. But......we never talked about whether you want to have kids. You know I've had a vasectomy, but if you want..."

She stopped him with a finger on his lips. "I think four's enough, don't you?"

He opened his mouth to clarify his meaning, then realized he'd gotten his answer. If she wanted to treat his children like her own, it was in everyone's best interest and he was quite happy with that. "Oh I have no doubt that they'll definitely keep us busy." Walking to the end of the bar, he held out his hand. "Come on. Let's go tell the kids."

They entered the house through the front door and heard rapid footsteps coming towards them.

"Daddy! Daddy! Did she say yes?" Jake wanted to know as he skidded to a stop in front of them.

"Jake! You weren't supposed to say anything! You were supposed to wait and let them tell us!" Stephanie scolded as she joined them. Turning to the adults, she smirked. "Well?"

Brianna held up her left hand.

Unsure what the gesture meant, Jake looked at his father, who nodded. "Yay!" He rushed forward to hug Brianna.

"Congratulations." Stephanie stepped forward to hug Brianna once Jake had let her go.

"Thank you." Brianna watched the younger girl's face, sensing something wasn't quite right. "Anyone want a snack?"

"Me!"

"Steph, would you help me please?"

"Sure."

In the kitchen, Brianna cut up cheese and veggies while Stephanie piled a plate with cookies and poured drinks.

"Steph....are you sure you're okay with your Dad and I getting married?"

Stephanie shrugged. "Sure."

"Steph, be honest. I hear a 'but' in there."

The teenager shrugged again. "It's fine." She adjusted the plate and glasses on a tray. "When do you think the wedding will be?"

Brianna sensed this had something to do with the girl's reservations about the marriage. Feeling like she was navigating a minefield, she picked her words carefully and hoped she was reading the signs right. "I don't know yet, but....I don't think we need to be in a big hurry, do you?" Seeing the slim shoulders sag in relief, she knew she'd made the right choice.

"No."

"We'll take our time until everyone's ready. How does that sound?"

"That sounds...good." Fighting back tears, Stephanie turned and threw her arms around the older woman's neck. "I do love you and want you with us, it's just..."

"Sssh. It's okay Sweetie. I understand. And I love you too."



Later that evening, after the kids were in bed, the adults retired to the guest house and their own private celebration.

This night there were no toys and no games. There was just gentle touches and soft kisses. Tonight was about love, not lust. It was about candlelight and soft music. It was about romance.

Jon removed her nightgown and proceeded to worship her body with hands and mouth. When she tried to return the favour, he brushed her hands aside. "No. Don't distract me."

"But..."

"Uh uh. My birthday, my rules."

With a sigh, she gave in, laid back and let him have his way. Her eyes drifted shut, lulled by the stroking of his fingers on her skin. When the calloused tips scraped her nipples, causing them to harden, she murmured her pleasure. When his lips replaced his fingers and he suckled, she gasped. Ignoring his 'no touching' decree, she slid her fingers into his hair and held him close.

While his mouth sucked and nibbled, his hand continued down her body. Over her stomach, her hip and the top of her thigh, his palm caressed before scraping his nails up her sensitive inner thigh on his way to the heart of her femininity. Parting the swollen folds, he searched for the bundle of nerves at the top of her cleft.

The first touch was like the spark of a live wire and her body jerked. "Oh!" When that torturing finger moved further down and eased inside her, she moaned.....and chuckled.

Jon lifted his head. "What's so funny?" He wasn't sure whether to pleased or pissed.

"I was just thinking that guitarists have the most talented fingers."

"Since I'm also a singer maybe we should see what you think of my tongue's talents." With that he shifted down, trailing open mouthed kisses over her torso.

 The anticipation of what his words might mean parted her thighs as effectively as if he'd used his hands. The first swipe of his tongue made her cry out. The moisture drenching his buried finger told him it a cry of pleasure not pain. He added a second finger and closed his lips around her clit. Tongue and fingers moved in tandem until her head was thrashing back and forth on the pillow and her body writhed beneath him.

Then he pulled away.

"No! Don't stop!" Brianna reached out for him, but couldn't get a good grip. "Don't you dare leave!"

"Shhh. Easy Golden Eyes. I'm not going anywhere." He tried to soothe her. Stretching out on top of her, he braced his weight on his elbows and smoothed the hair off of her face. "I've got something you'll like even better."

That made her pause, lips twitching at his certainty. "Pretty cocky there aren't you Mr. Bongiovi?"

"Yep." As he spoke he slid inside her and watched her eyes dilate with pleasure and begin to glow. "Complaining soon-to-be Mrs. Bongiovi?"

"About the equipment?" She tightened her internal muscles to squeeze his buried cock, grinning when his breath hissed through his teeth. "No. But I do have issues with the length of time I have to wait for it." She squeezed again.

Jon closed his eyes and groaned. "Okay, okay. I get the point." He caged her face between his hands and bent to kiss her. Lifting his head he stared into her eyes as his hips began to move.

Their eyes remained locked as they moved together, letting the flames of their passion build slowly, but surely towards eruption. When they couldn't hold it back any longer, they exploded together.

When they'd caught their breath, they lay cuddled together, Brianna's head on Jon's shoulder, her left arm draped across his chest.

 Jon picked up her hand and rubbed her ring with his thumb. "You really like it?"

"Mmmm. It's beautiful. But this was supposed to be your day you know." Brianna reminded him.

"Mmhmmm and making you part of my life forever was my gift to myself." He kissed her temple. "I give the best gifts."

Looking at the sparkling gem on her finger, she couldn't argue.


Saturday, December 13, 2014

Chapter 102


"What do you want to do for your birthday?" Brianna sank down onto the couch beside her boyfriend and braced for his response. Given their as yet unfinished conversation, something along the lines of move you in wouldn't surprise her. What was unexpected was his silence on the subject since their return from Vermont over a week ago. She knew him too well to think he'd changed his mind, or even that he'd backed off to let her think everything over and come to her own decision. No, that's not the way John Bongiovi worked when he really wanted something. He was planning something. She just didn't know what.

"Math lesson done already?" Setting aside the book he was reading, he patted his lap, inviting her to rest her feet there.

Obliging, Brianna swung her legs up and leaned back against the arm of the couch. She closed her eyes briefly, enjoying the feel of his fingers digging deep. "Yes. Mmmmm. She's a smart girl. Once I gave her some real life examples she got it." She sighed and wiggled her toes. "You didn't answer my question."

"Hmmm? Oh. My birthday." He shrugged. "Whatever. But no big party please. I'd rather spend it with just you and the kids."

"I'll take that under advisement."



After dinner that night, Brianna got Stephanie and Jesse alone. "Do you have any ideas of something fun we can do for your Dad's birthday?"

They all thought for a few minutes.

"We could do a scavenger hunt." Jesse suggested. "Leave him clues to his presents stashed all over the house and other buildings."

"That's a cool idea." Stephanie agreed. "Do you think he'd go for it?"

"With the right incentive I think he will." Brianna was already running wording, bribes and blackmail scenarios in her head.

Stephanie had a couple ideas of her own.



A couple days later, Stephanie tracked her father down in his office. "Hey Dad..."

"Mmmm?" Jon didn't look up from his computer.

"Have you decided when you're going to propose to Bri?"

"No." He had the ring - chosen by him but approved by his daughter - tucked away in a drawer, but he hadn't come up with a suitable plan. He'd considered going the traditional route, but there was no way in hell he was asking her father for his permission. But the running off to Vegas thing wasn't for her either. He wanted something uniquely for her.

"But you want it to be soon?"

"Yes." He wondered where she was going with this.

"I've got an idea."

"Yeah?" He sat back in his chair and studied her. "What?"

"Well, first you have to promise not to tell anyone that I told you what the plan is for your birthday."

"Okay. I promise I'll act surprised."

"Okay. There's going to be a scavenger hunt around the estate for you to find your gifts."

His brows rose. That actually sounded like a fun idea.....and a lot of work for him to get his presents. "Who's ideas was that?"

"Jesse's."

So.....no way of getting out of it. "So what's your plan?"

"I can suggest that the last gift take you to the Inn. Then, after you open it, Jesse and I will take the little ones into the house and you can be alone with Bri in the Inn." She considered him for a moment. "Can you take it from there or do you need some help?"

He scowled. "Smartass. I think I can manage."

"What do you think of the plan?"

"Sounds pretty good." He admitted. His mind was already working on several ways to finish the hunt and attain the best gift of all.



The morning of his birthday, just before lunch, Brianna pulled him aside.  "The kids have organized something a little different to celebrate your birthday. I know it might seem a little childish, but please play along. They've worked really hard on this."

He scowled at her.  "Of course. I'm not too old to have a little fun with my kids."

"Not yet anyway." Turning, she led the way into the dining room.

Passing her in the hallway, he swatted her ass. "Brat!"

"Happy birthday Daddy!" All four kids chorused, and ran to hug their father.

"Thank you!"


After they finished eating and cleared the table, Romeo patted Jon's arm. "Daddy."

"Yes little man?"

"Here. Dis for you."

Jon took the card the toddler held out to him. "Thanks." Opening the card, he realized the game had begun.



This year for your birthday, your presents are all around
Solve the clues to reveal, where each gift can be found.

The first is from the youngest. An activity you share each day
For him it's to help him go to sleep. For you this may help increase your pay


Jon frowned. This wasn't going to be as easy as he'd thought.

"It a scavager hunt!" Jake explained. "You have to find your presents!"

"Yeah? Okay, let's see if I can figure this out."

"Need some help?" Brianna asked, lips twitching.

Blue eyes narrowed as he glared at her. "No!" He studied the clue again. While he ran the words over in his head, his gaze drifted to his youngest. "Something we do everyday to help you go to sleep. Hmmm." A brow rose. "Bedtime story? It's a book!"

Romeo grinned and nodded.

"But where is it?" Stephanie prodded.

He read the clue again. "The library would be too obvious. Increase my pay. Increase my pay." He snapped his fingers. "My office!"

The little ones took off, leading the way to the office.

As he entered the room, Jon glanced around, but saw nothing out of place. Rounding his desk, he sat and looked around again. Still nothing. The clue repeated in his head again, but nothing else fit. It had to be in this room. He frowned and opened the drawer on his left. "Aha!" He pulled the brightly wrapped package out of the drawer and ripped off the paper to reveal a hardcover book. It was Warren Buffet's biography and philosophy. "Thanks little man!" He picked Romeo up and hugged him.

"Don't forget your next clue." Jesse gestured towards a piece of paper sticking out from the middle of the book.

Jon pulled it out, glanced I over quickly, then read it again more slowly.

Jakey's up next, full of not flowers but spice there's no doubt
Only room in the house where you smell better going in than coming out

Jon rubbed his chin while he thought. Flowers and spice wasn't ringing any bells for him, so he decided to focus on the room part of the clue. "Smell better going in than coming out. Bathroom?"

Jake giggled, but shook his head.

"Not the bathroom huh?" He mentally ran through the house's floor plan, quickly discarding room after room, until it finally came to him. "The gym!"

"Yep!"

Together they trooped down to the gym. All eyes were on Jon as he wandered the room. It took him a few minutes to find the small box on the top of the treadmill. Under the paper was his favourite cologne. He bent to hug Jake. "Thanks buddy."

"You welcome Daddy." At a nudge from his sister, he pointed to the small piece of paper propped on the controls. "Don't forget your next clue!"

The oldest son is exploring his family history and heritage
If someone squeals, the horse is dead, take the carriage

He was starting to get the hang of this. "Horseless carriage is a car. It's in the garage!"

They kicked into boots, but didn't bother with coats for the short trip to the garage.

This time Jon knew right where to look. Bypassing the Navigator, he headed straight for the Chevelle. The seats were empty, so was the trunk. He was beginning to think he'd been wrong when he caught Jesse and Brianna exchanging smirks. It's here somewhere, I know it! Opening the driver's door he bent and reached under the seat. Nothing. Rounding the car he opened the passenger door and repeated the process. Still nothing. He blew out a frustrated breath and raked his hand through his hair. As his head tilted, he caught sight of the glove compartment. When he opened it, a package fell out. Ha! With a triumphant expression, he ripped paper to find a special edition Godfather trilogy DVD collection. "Oh wow! This is great. Thanks Jesse."

"Can we watch it later?"

"Sure."

Brianna cleared her throat and shot a glance at Jake.

"Much later." Jon amended. He clapped his hands together. "Where's my next clue?"

"Under the flor mat." Jesse pointed.

First born child, the only girl, but she ain't no Malibu Barbie.
Let the record show, when it comes to tough she's a regular David Tyree

"Okay. Tyree means something to do with the Giants. Let the record show.....the studio!"

The gift was sitting on the side of the sound board. The large box contained a New York Giants sweatshirt and ball cap. 

"Thanks sweetie!" He hugged her.

"You're welcome." Stephanie assured him and motioned to the microphone in the larger room. "Only one left."

Last but not least, just a little fun from your helper, your date
So pull up a chair, pour a drink, try your luck, it's your day, celebrate

"The Inn."

This final gift was sitting in the middle of the pool table. Jon picked it up and shook it, raising a brow at Brianna at the slight rattling sound.

She rolled her eyes. "Just open it. It's G rated."

"Too bad." He chuckled as he undid the wrapping. It was a poker set with chips, several decks of cards, felt table cloth with markings for cards and chips, and a book explaining every version of poker known to man. "Cool."

"It all fits in that case so it's portable. You can take it on the road and try and win back what you lost to Tico last tour."

"Practice on Uncle Matt first." Jesse advised.

"Good idea." Jon grinned and leaned over to kiss Brianna. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." She glanced around the group. "What do you want to do now?"

"We've got some stuff to do in the house." Stephanie answered. "But you guys should stay out here and relax."

Jake frowned and was about to argue, but was stopped by his older brother whispering in his ear. "Yep, gotta go!" 

He took off with Jesse right behind him. Stephanie picked up Romeo and followed, shaking her head. "Boys!"

Jon looked at Brianna who was watching the kids's departure with a frown. "What's wrong?"

"They're up to something."

"Probably." He shrugged. "As long as they don't set anything on fire, we'll be fine."

"Thanks for being such a good sport about all of this."

"It was actually kind of fun." He reached into his pocket. "In fact, I'm not ready for it to be over quite yet." He held out a piece of paper.

"What's this?"

"Your clue. This time you get to solve the puzzle."


Now we're alone just us two, time for a little libation
Some ice for me, some ice for you, let's have a conversation


Amber eyes narrowed. "You knew about the scavenger hunt!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You had to have known to have this set up."

"Are you really upset or are you stalling because you can't figure out the clue?"

Scowling, she stomped behind the bar. "You're so....."

"Loveable?"

She snorted as she set two glasses on the top of the bar and lifted the lid off the ice bucket. Reaching in, she grasped a handful of ice and dropped it in a glass. A metallic clink had her looking closer. "What the....?"

When her brain processed what her eyes were seeing, her lungs seized.


Jon moved to stand on the other size of the bar and reached into the glass. Wiping the ring off on his shirt, he held it out to her. "Marry me, Golden Eyes."

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Chapter 101


For the first time in his life, Jon knew what he wanted.....and didn't rush into getting it. This wasn't going to be some impulsive 'let's get hitched' deal like his first wedding. This one was going to take some planning. There were just too many people affected to do otherwise.

When Stephanie wandered into the living room where he was sitting contemplating his next move, he realized that before he even thought about proposing to Brianna there were others he needed to discuss it with first. "Where's Jesse?"

"In his room I think."

He walked into the foyer and looked up the stairs. "Jesse! Will you come down here please?"

When he appeared at the top of the stairs, Jesse frowned down at his father. "What?"

"Just come down here for a minute." He waited for Jesse to join him and gestured towards the living room. "I need to talk to you and your sister."

The siblings exchanged a look, trying to think of what they might have done wrong.

"What about?" Stephanie asked.

"Bri."

"Is something wrong?"

"Is she okay?"

"Is she hurt?"

"Is she......sick?"

That last question had Jon rushing to reassure them. "Nothing's wrong. She's fine." He rubbed his hands on his jean covered thighs. "You guys said you were okay with her moving in, right?"

"Yeah." Jesse eyed his father warily.

"Has she agreed?" Stephanie sat forward eagerly.

"Not yet." Jon admitted. "But I've been thinking........maybe something more permanent would be better. For all of us."

"What do you mean?" Stephanie frowned in confusion.

"Well......what would you think of Bri and I getting married?"

The silence was deafening.

Jon's heart sank into his stomach. "You don't like that idea?"

Jesse shrugged.

Stephanie's frown deepened.

"Come on guys, talk to me. I thought you wanted her living here full time."

"Yeah, but I never thought about her taking Mom's place." Stephanie admitted.

"She wouldn't be taking Mom's place," Jon assured her, "no one will ever do that. Bri would just be continuing just like she has been - as your friend and someone to lend a hand or a shoulder when you need one."

"But she would be our stepmother."

"Yes."

"Would we have to call her 'Mom'?" Jesse wanted to know.

"No." Jon answered quickly, shaking his head.

"When would the wedding be?" Stephanie rubbed her hand on her jeans.

"I don't know. I haven't even asked her yet." Jon eyed his daughter. "What are you thinking Steph?"

She shrugged. "It just seems kinda fast. You never let on you were even thinking about getting married."

Jon considered for a moment. "Would you feel better if we got engaged......but didn't rush the wedding?"

Stephanie shrugged. "Maybe."

"Okay. Take some time and think about it."



After dinner, Stephanie helped her dad with Jake and Romeo's baths, then settled into her bedroom to read.....and think.

"So what do you think?" Jesse sauntered in and plopped down on the end of her bed.

Stephanie sighed and laid down her book. "I think that it's bound to happen sooner or later and we could do much worse than Bri."

"Then why did you act like you don't want them to get married?"

"Dad surprised me with it, that's all. I had accepted her moving in, but I hadn't even thought about them getting married." She looked down at her finger tracing the pattern in her sheets. "It just makes Mom being gone even more.....final."

Jesse nodded. "But this is what she wanted. She chose Brianna to look after us. I think we have to trust Mom's judgement on what's best for us." He paused and shrugged. "She's okay to have around.....and seems to make Dad happy."

"She does." Stephanie agreed. "And we know she loves us." She considered the prospect for another few moments, then nodded decisively. "Yeah, I think we have to go along with them getting married."

Jesse nodded as well. "At least then we'll know she'll be around for awhile."

Both of them knew all too well that 'permanently' might not be as long as anyone might like.



The next day, Jon sat in his office trying to gather the courage to make the call he knew he needed to make. It wasn't going to be pleasant, but he knew he had to do it. Now, while the kids were either at school or napping. He scrubbed his hands over his face. Man up and do what's right.

Taking a deep breath, he reached for the phone. "Linda hi. It's Jon."

"Hi! I want to thank you again for letting the kids come to the family get together. Donna was thrilled to see them."

"Of course. From what I hear, a good time was had all around."

"Good. I'm glad they enjoyed themselves too. So, what's up?"

"Well...I'm thinking about making some changes around here and I wanted you to hear about it from me."

"Does this have anything to do with Brianna?"

"Yes."

"Moving in or getting married?"

"Yes. If she agrees. I haven't asked her yet - to marry me that is. I asked her to move in but she hasn't given me an answer." He frowned. "How did you know?"

"You sounded all nervous, so I took a guess." She paused to swallow and blink back tears. "It's okay Jon. it's the right thing to do. It's what Dot wanted. For you to find love again. I wish you both much happiness."

"Thank you. I want to assure you - and your sisters - that whatever decision we make, you will always be part of the kids' lives. I'll make sure of it."

"We'd appreciate that."

"You're family. Always will be."

"Thank you."

Hanging up, Jon blew out a breath. Now I just need to figure out how to convince Bri that marrying me is the right thing to do."



An hour later, the gate buzzer announced the return of the kids from school.

"Dad?" Stephanie appeared in the doorway to his office a few minutes later.

"Hey sweetie, how was your day?"

"Fine. We got an math assignment on profit and loss and something called cost analysis. I'm not sure I understand some of it. Can you help me?"

"I could try, but you know who would be better?"

She frowned in thought for a moment, then grinned. "Bri?"

Jon nodded. "She has a lot of experience in business and finance."

"Okay, I'll ask her." She paused "About Bri...."

"What about her?"

"Well.....Jesse and I have been thinking....and talking. About you guys getting married."

Jon sat up straighter. "And have you come to a decision?"

Stephanie nodded and looked down at her hands in her lap. "I just have a question."

"Yeah?"

Sapphire eyes glinted at him through her lashes, a pose so much like her mother, his heart lurched. "Can I help pick out the ring?"


Saturday, November 29, 2014

Chapter 100


It was a quiet trip home. 

Brianna hadn't given Jon an answer to his question and it was frustrating him. "What's it going to take?"

"Time." She answered. "I just need some time to think this through with a clear head. This is a huge decision, Jon. Too important to be made quickly in a post coital fog."

He couldn't argue her point and he knew her well enough to know pushing her would get him nowhere.

When they pulled up in front of her apartment building, Brianna turned to look at him. "Are you coming up?"

"No. Linda will have brought the kids back by now. Mom's there, but I need to get home."

Leaning over, she fought a smile at his disgruntled expression . He looked just like Jake when he didn't get his way. "Don't pout." She kissed him. "Thank you for a lovely trip. I really enjoyed it."  She climbed out of the car and grabbed her bag out of the back. Pausing, she caught his eye. "I love you."

Jon sighed and nodded. "I love you too. I'll talk to you later."

"Give my love to the kids. Talk to you later."

Brianna stepped back and watched him drive away, wondering if she was doing the right thing.



"Of course you're doing the right thing." Rachel reassured her. "Moving in is a huge step and not one you want to rush into. Especially when there are kids involved. You want to make sure the relationship is good and solid with a high probability of long term success. "

"That's what I tried to explain to Jon! Sort of. You sound like an investment banker." After Jon had left, she had started to second guess herself and needed a more objective perspective. Since her mother didn't fit that description, she'd called her sister-in-law. 

"I guess when you live with one long enough, a few things rub off." Rachel chuckled. "But the logic is sound."

Brianna sighed. "I know and I agree with you. But I'm torn. I'm just not sure what's the right thing to do."

"Do you love each other?"

"Yes."

"Do you miss him when you're not together?"

"Yes."

"You've spent a lot time to together under the same roof. Do you get along when it comes to the day to day stuff?"

"Yes."

"So what's holding you back? Your father's reaction?"

"Believe it or not, no. He's not going to approve of anything that happens with Jon, and I can't worry about his opinion. I have to think about my happiness, not his."

"Good girl!" Rachel cheered. "So your biggest concern is what exactly? The effect on the kids' if you move in?"

"Yes." Brianna responded. "Despite what the oldest two have said, I'm not sure they're really ready to see me sharing their father's room. I can't help but wonder if it's too soon. And what happens if we can't make it work? How would that affect the kids?"

Rachel considered for a moment. "Has the word 'marriage' ever come up?"

"God no. I think it may be a long time yet before Jon's ready to take that step again."

"And are you willing to wait?"

"For now."

"For how long?"

"I don't know." Brianna paused. "And that's one of the reasons I'm not sure about moving in."




Jon pulled through the gates, parked and sighed. His romantic getaway had ended on a sour note. He should be happy and relaxed. Instead he was annoyed and agitated. As much as Brianna loved his kids and was comfortable in his house, he really hadn't anticipated her not immediately agreeing to move in. He hadn't been prepared for it, and didn't know how to react to it.

And the worst part was he couldn't argue with her. While he didn't agree her concerns were valid, she was looking out for the best interests of his children. He couldn't dispute her conjectures without looking like he was putting his needs before his kids'.

Copper barked at his window, jerking his mind back to his surroundings. "Okay, okay, I'm coming."

Grabbing his bag from the backseat, he trudged into the house.

"Daddy! Daddy! You home!" Romeo ran into the foyer and hugged his father's knees.

"Hey little man. Did you have a good time at Aunt Linda's?"

"Uh huh." Romeo nodded and looked around. "Where Bina?"

She's at home." He watched Romeo look up the stairs. "No, she's at her home in the city."

"Oh." Small shoulders slumped and he frowned. "When her tomin back dis home?"

Jon sighed. "I'm not sure. Probably in a few days."

Feeling as dejected as his son looked, Jon made his way to the kitchen. His mother looked up from the sink, took one look at his face and reached for a coffee mug.

"Hi." She filled the cup from the pot beside her and held it out to him. "How was your trip?"

"Fine." He sat down at the island.

Her brows rose. "Just fine? Did something happen? Was the lodge not very nice?"

"The lodge was nice. Big room, and the sleigh ride was pretty."

"Did Brianna come home with you?"

"No, she's in the city."

Hearing the disgruntled note in his voice, Carol eyed her oldest son knowingly. "Did you have a fight?"

"No." Jon scowled. "Not really."

"But you're not happy."

He grunted and sipped his coffee.

"So. You had a three day romantic getaway with your girlfriend, but instead of coming home relaxed and content, you're moody and unhappy. If you didn't have a fight, then........you didn't get your way about something."

His scowl darkened. "Don't you need to get home?"

Carol laughed and winked at her granddaughter as she entered the room.

"Hey Dad, how was your trip?" Opening the fridge, she pulled out a soda.

"It was.....good." He ignored his mother's snicker.

"So? Is Brianna moving in?"

Carol's head snapped in Jon's direction.

"I don't know yet. I'm still working on it."

"Let us know if we can help convince her." Grabbing a cookie out of the jar, Stephanie left the room.

"Moving in together? Are you sure you're ready for that?" Carol asked carefully.

He nodded towards the doorway. "You heard her. Jesse mentioned it to me as well, and the little ones love her."

"Mmhmmm. Are you ready for that?" Carol sat down across the island. "Have you asked her?"

He nodded. "Yeah, but she hasn't given me an answer yet. Said she needed some time to think about it."

"Smart girl. That's a big step. You need to be sure. Don't do it just because you're lonely."

"I'm not a child Mom."

"No, but you have four that you need to look out for. Don't bring a woman - even Brianna - into this house on a full time basis unless you're prepared to make it permanent. Don't risk their happiness like that - or hers for that matter." She reached across to touch his hand. "Are you really ready for something permanent? For someone to fill Dorothea's role in your house? In your life? It's only been a year and a half. Are you ready to relegate Dorothea to the past.....to be memories and nothing more?"

She let her words sink in for a few moments. "If you are, if you're truly ready to move on, in your heart and mind, then by all means, move her in. But as your wife, not just your girlfriend."



Carol's words echoed in his head over the next few days. He was ready to move on with his life, with Brianna at his side.....wasn't he? What did his mother see that made her doubt that? Subconsciously he knew what that would mean in regards to Dorothea's place in his mind and heart, but now his mother was forcing him to face it head on.

He opened a drawer in his dresser to get a pair of socks and his gaze was drawn to the small box in the corner. Lifting it out, he sat on the end of the bed and took off the lid. He stared at the contents for a moment before pouring it into his hand. Was whatever his mother saw the reason Brianna was hesitant about moving in? Was he giving off some sort of signal that despite his assurances, he really wasn't ready?

He sighed and rolled the ring in his hand around his palm. He'd taken off his wedding ring, but kept it close. Was that wrong? Was he still hanging on to Dot without realizing it?

Suddenly he wasn't sure about anything anymore. He needed to talk to someone.



Parking his car, Jon took a deep breath and climbed out. Turning up the collar of his coat against the cold wind, he shoved his hands in his pockets and made his way over to the stone. "Hey Dotty. I need some help."

He bent and brushed snow off the ledge at the bottom of the stone and the small figurines someone had put there, while he debated his words. "You were right Dotty.....about Bri. I don't know why that should surprise me. You always knew me so well. She's beautiful, smart, considerate and loving.....everything you said she said she was."

He paused. "I love her Dot. I want her to move in with us. To create a family with us. But.....it's only been a year and a half since we lost you, and I'm wondering if I'm moving too fast. I don't want to do anything that will diminish what you and I had, but.....we need to move on. I think we're ready. I'm lonely and the kids need a full time female influence."

He stared up at the grey sky. "Am I being selfish? I'll always love you Dotty, and I'll never forget you. I would give anything to have you here with me. But you're gone and the kids and I have to learn to live without you. I know you tried to pound that idea into my head, but I didn't want to hear it then. I get it now."

He reached out with one finger to stroke the angel sitting on the top of the stone. "Mom says that if I'm ready for something permanent, I should marry her instead of just moving her in. It would be more stable for the kids. Is that like a slap in your face so soon?"

Taking his other hand out of his pocket, he opened his fist to stare at his wedding ring. "I don't know the right thing to do. Help me Dotty."

A gust of wind blew the clouds apart enough to allow a small ray so sunshine to break through, bathing the ring in his hand. He could almost feel the metal warm and appear to shimmer. But maybe that was the tears in his eyes.

"Thanks Dotty. I love you."


Saturday, November 22, 2014

Chapter 99


A couple hours later, Jon decided that being awakened wasn't so bad if it was your lover's mouth on your swelling cock that pulled you from dreamland. But when he tried to reach down to touch her, he found his arms couldn't move. His eyes flew open and he tilted his head to look, only to find his wrists were tied to the head board.....with the same scarf he'd used on her. "What the fuck?"

Lifting her head, Brianna grinned and shifted upwards until she could reach his ear. "I warned you. What's good for the goose is good for the gander...remember?" She sucked on his earlobe for a few seconds then moved down his neck to nibble his Adam's apple.

He shuddered at the scrape of her teeth on his skin and tried to prepare for what she might have planned. If she was after payback, he had some torture in his immediate future.

Swallowing heavily, he tried to brace himself, a groan rumbling in his chest.

Brianna chuckled as she continued her downward path. "Was that a growl or a purr?"

"Frustrated anticipation."

"So...both then." She grinned and tangled her fingers in his thick fur while she licked his nipple.

His breath hissed through his teeth and his arms jerked reflexively.

"Hmmm. Interesting reaction." Sitting up, she straddled his waist and reached to one side. Amber eyes glinted as she raised her hands revealing the vibrators on her fingers. "Let's see how you respond to these."

Even knowing it was probably coming, Jon wasn't prepared for the jolt that surged through his body at the touch of the pulsating appliances on his nipples. "Jesus!"

Brianna lifted her hands, a smirk curving her lips. "Intense isn't it?" She shifted her hips against his twitching cock. "Feels like you liked it. Maybe we should she how you like it on some even more....sensitive.....flesh."

When she moved to lie between his legs, Jon closed his eyes and prayed for the strength to survive the sweet torture she was about to inflict upon him. He couldn't protest since he'd done the same thing to her, but his already primed body was like a lit fuse steadily heading towards detonation and he didn't know how long he could hold it off.

With his masculine flesh displayed before her, Brianna debated her strategy. She started by running her bare fingers over the sensitive flesh. Cupping his sac with one hand, she massaged gently, and stroked her thumb over the loose skin. Her other hand caressed his hard shaft. After a few minutes, she bent to kiss the swollen tip, then lifted her head.

The smirk twisting her lips was the only warning he got. Shockwaves stiffened his body at the touch of the vibrators. "Jesus!"

Brianna settled in to play. One vibrator explored his sac, circling each ball and grazing the super sensitive area underneath. The other one roamed up and down his cock, swirling around the tip and pausing just under the ridge. His back arched as shudders wracked his body. Whenever she sensed him on the verge of exploding, she lifted her fingers, letting him catch his breath, using her mouth to soothe his tortured flesh. When he'd calmed a little, she sent the vibrators roaming again. And again. And again.

"Fuck! Jesus! Fuck!" Shudders shook his body.

Glancing up, Brianna studied him while her tongue traced the slit in the throbbing tip. His eyes were squeezed shut, his face flushed and sweat covered, the muscles in his arms bulged as he fought to maintain control, his chest heaved as he struggled to breathe. "What do you want Blue Eyes? Tell me what you want me to do."

Slices of blue fire stared down at her. "Finish it!" He ground out. "Take me in your mouth and finish it!"

"Yes dear." Opening her mouth wide she did as she was bid. Swallowing about half his length, she placed one vibrator against the big vein at the bottom of his cock, and the other against the bare spot behind his sac......and sucked.

"FUCK!" Jon exploded. His whole body went rigid and black spots blurred his vision as he rode the wave of the most intense orgasm he'd ever experienced.....and waited to see if he'd survive it.



Brianna sat up and surveyed the results of her handiwork. "I think the fire burned out."

Jon snorted. "Not fucking likely. Not in this lifetime Golden Eyes."

Brianna chuckled and pointed across the room. "I meant in the fireplace." She pressed a kiss to his lips and released his hands. "And I need food!" Jumping off the bed, she headed for the bathroom - and the shower.

It took Jon a few minutes to gather enough strength to get up off the bed and tend to the fire. The sound of running water changed, signalling she'd turned on the shower. He considered joining her, but while his mind was game, his body needed a rest. Besides, he had two more days to get through, and if he was going to last, he needed to pace himself. He wasn't a teenager anymore.

By the time Brianna exited the bathroom wearing one of the plush robes and towelling her hair, Jon had the fire blazing again and was sitting on the end of the bed staring into the dancing flames. She didn't know whether to laugh or be concerned at his dazed expression. "Honey? You okay?"

"Hmm?" He glanced around and blinked when he saw her. "Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Just a little...."

"Drained?" She guessed with a grin and twinkling eyes. "Need a nap?"

A nap actually sounded like a great idea, but he refused to be that much of a cliché. Shaking his head, he stood. "Ha ha. No, I'm fine. Although I could really use a shower." He paused in the doorway. "Oh. I ordered dinner. It should be here soon."

When it arrived, Brianna helped the room service attendant set up their meal on the table and light the candles. Jon nodded his approval when he joined her and rushed to hold her chair for her. He checked to see if the champagne was still cold before opening the bottle and serving them both. Sitting down, he raised his glass. "Happy Valentine's Day Golden Eyes. Everyday I thank whatever force brought you into my life. I wouldn't have made it through the last two years without you. I love you."

"I love you too." She touched her glass to his and sipped, her eyes shining with emotion.



And the tone was set for their mini holiday. They ate.....and made love. They talked.....and made love. They tested out the Jacuzzi....and made love.

But neither one were teenagers anymore and even the healthiest libidos need rest. So, as they ate lunch, Brianna browsed through the lodge's list of activities. "They have sleigh rides."

Jon glanced up from his plate, amusement making his eyes twinkle. "Does that mean you want to take a ride?"

She shrugged. "Only if you want to. It might be nice to get some fresh air - and let the housekeeping staff clean the room. And the scenery out there looks beautiful."

He glanced around the room and had to agree. "Okay. That sounds like a good idea."

"I'll call the front desk and arrange it." Brianna stood and walked over to the phone.



Bundled up in sweaters, coats and boots, they stepped out the front door and looked around for the sleigh. They found it several yards away at the edge of the parking lot. The driver was checking the horses in the harness.

Shivering against the chilly air, Brianna pulled on her gloves. Jon zipped up his coat, stuffed his hands in his pockets and jutted his elbow out towards her, inviting her to take his arm.

Brianna couldn't stifle a snicker as she threaded her arm through his.

He raised a brow. "What?"

She shrugged and grinned. "This just reminded me of a scene from No Looking Back."

He frowned in thought as they strolled towards the waiting sleigh. "Which scene?"

"You and Lauren came out of the bar and started walking. You crooked your arm like that for her to take." She paused. "It was before you cried."

He grimaced. "Have you seen all my movies?" He knew she'd been a fan of the band before they'd met, but he didn't know if she was a fan of his. He'd never asked and she'd never offered the information.

"Yep."

"And?"

"And what?"

"What did you think?"

"I think you were good."

"Which was your favourite?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

"You're going to laugh."

"Just tell me."

"You'll think I'm nuts."

"Bri, just tell me."

She sighed. "Los Muertos."

He snorted. "Really?"

"Yep. I love vampire movies." She slanted him a look. "You thought I was going to say The Leading Man didn't you?"

"Yeah." He admitted.

"As much as I enjoyed seeing your manly display, your character wasn't very nice."

"Not as dashing as a hunter of the undead huh?"

The sleigh driver's head turned towards them, his curiosity at that comment - the only one he'd heard - obvious.

Brianna winked at him before answering Jon. "Nope, but you can paint my house any day."

Jon laughed and helped her into the sleigh before climbing in behind her.

The driver - who introduced himself as George - showed them where the blankets and thermoses of hot chocolate were and made sure they were settled before picking up the reins and setting the horses in motion.

It was a very pleasant, but cold outing. Later, George would describe the  rockstar and his girlfriend to his wife as a down to earth, friendly and cozy couple whose affection for each other was obvious.

When they returned to the lodge, they were half frozen, but invigorated. Laughing, they stumbled into the lobby and hurried to their room where Jon rushed to get the fire blazing again.

Brianna hung up their coats and struggled to get out of her cold clothes. "I'm freezing!"

Jon stripped off his own icy clothes, pulled a blanket off the bed and tugged her down with him onto the fur rug in front of the fire. "I know a way to warm you up."

She laughed, but burrowed under the blanket with him and let him prove his boast.



Later, after they'd caught their breath, they were still cuddled together on the rug, watching the flickering flames. Brianna's head rested on his shoulder, her fingers toying idly with his chest hair. She sighed in contentment.

"Happy?" He kissed her head and trailed his fingers over her arm.

"Mmm. Very. I could get used to this."

"Used to this place? Or used to us like this?"

"Us." She answered honestly.

It was the opportunity he'd been looking for. "Then move in with me and we can make it happen." He held his breath and waited for her answer.

She was silent for so long he thought he was going to suffocate. "Move in with you." Her mind raced to sort out the jumble of thoughts and feelings those few simple words sent swirling through her.

"Yes."

"In what capacity?"

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, do you mean move into your house....or your bedroom?"

"Both." he held up a hand. "Now, before you start arguing that the kids aren't ready for that, you should know that Stephanie came to me and suggested it and Jesse said at Christmas how nice it was to come home and find you there. And you know the little ones love you."

She frowned at his smug tone. "Just because the kids think they'd be okay with it doesn't make it right." She paused. "I don't know Jon, I don't think it's a good idea yet."

"Why not? Because of what people might think or say?"

She shrugged.

"And I care about that why?" He frowned. "Or is this about what your father might say?"

"Maybe partly, but mostly I'm not sure we're ready for that yet."

"Well I know I am, so you must be talking about yourself. What is it you're not sure about? We love each other, you already spend a lot of time in my house anyway and you always seem to be comfortable there..."

"In the room across the hall, yes. Sharing your bed? Not so much."

"Why? You seem comfortable enough when we share your bed....or the one in the guest house."

"That's different."

"How?"

"We weren't  flaunting the depth of our relationship in front of the kids....or anyone else.

"And us living together would be?"

"Yes."

Jon thought for a few moments, but was unable to grasp her meaning. "Sorry honey, you lost me."

"Living together.......wouldn't be the proper thing to do."

"That's your father talking." He rolled them until he had her trapped beneath him. "I much prefer the wanton I know is underneath the prim and proper exterior you show the rest of the world." Bracing his weight on his elbows, he brushed her hair back off her face. "Think about it Golden Eyes. No more running back and forth. No more packing and unpacking, carting clothes all over the tri-state area. You'd be right there if the kids needed anything. I try my best, but let's face it, sometimes they need a woman's touch." 

When she still didn't look convinced, he tried a different tack. "And don't forget the more....personal...benefits. There'd be more time for us. Less time apart. We could go to sleep and wake up together every day." He paused, eyes heating, and pushed his pelvis against hers, revealing his body's renewed interest. "And you can have this every day." He bent his head to lick and nibble her lips. "Just think about it."

Brianna still wasn't convinced, but she was going to enjoy his attempts to persuade her. After all, she wasn't a complete idiot.