Saturday, March 29, 2014

Chapter 65


If someone could die of too much pleasure, he was going to kill her. Brianna was sure of it. But what a way to go! She couldn't deny the idea was tempting....if her heart - and her body - could take it.

At least he let her catch her breath before starting the next round. Rolling half onto her, he slid a muscled thigh between hers, both anchoring her in place and preventing any attempts by her to remove the embedded vibrator. He spread her hair over the pillow, warming his fingers in the buried fire. Dipping his head, he touched his mouth to hers. The kiss was long and deep, but also gentle and unhurried.

Brianna moaned softly, her hands coming up to stroke and grip the taut muscles of his back. "Mmmm."

When they finally had to break the kiss to breathe, Jon shifted his attention to her ear and neck, nuzzling, nibbling and sucking. He found her most sensitive spots by monitoring the shivers shaking her body and the bite of her nails in his back.

"Jon." She sighed his name, her body arching towards his, her teeth scraping his shoulder.

Jon slid down slightly. Bracing his upper body on his elbows, he ran his fingers lightly over the full curves of her breasts. The scraping of his calluses over the areolas sparked her nerve endings, causing more shivers and her nipples to pebble. He reached down with one hand to turn on the vibrator and watched the buds stiffen....and settled in to play.

His hands cupped and weighed, stroked and massaged. Fingers squeezed and plucked the taut peaks, elongating them and extracting gasps and whimpers from her kiss swollen lips.

And he was just getting started.

Bending his head, he brought his mouth into the action. Soft lips explored creamy flesh before focusing on the pink tips. The tip of his tongue traced the merging of cream and pink, then licked and swirled around the swollen nub.

Delicate fingers threaded through his hair and tugged until he looked up at her face. "Stop teasing and give me what I need!"

Jon grinned at her growl. Her eyes were fever bright, but not the glowing amber he wanted to see....yet. "And what is it you need Golden Eyes? This?" He closed his lips around one throbbing nipple and suckled gently for a few seconds. Lifting his head again, he studied her flushed face. "Or this?" Shifting slightly, he took her other nipple into his mouth. His teeth bit down lightly.

"Yes!" Brianna cried out, her back arching.

Back and forth, he went, careful to give each breast equal time, his fingers stroking and squeezing the one not engulfed by his lips to ensure it didn't feel neglected.

Her body felt like it was humming with sensation. Her breathing had become erratic. Her blood pounded in her ears. The double stimulation of the vibrator and his mouth sent her hurtling towards the brink.

Sensing she was close, he paused his suckling. "Look at me Golden Eyes."

Brianna felt as much as heard his growled words. It took her several seconds to be able to force her eyelids to lift enough to meet his burning blue gaze. The next strong pull of his lips on her aching nipple sent her over the edge. "Jon!"

The orgasmic convulsions of her body beneath his almost took him with her, but he fought to retain control. He wasn't done yet. He took a deep, calming breath.

Her mewling whimpers reminded him that she needed a break too and he reached down and turned off the vibrator, but didn't remove it.

Brianna groaned. "Why?" It was all she had the breath to get out.

He knew what she meant. "Because you can take more."

She wasn't so sure, but she was afraid she was going to find out. She groaned at the thought.

He touched his lips to hers. "Relax Golden Eyes, you know you'll enjoy it."

"Enjoying it is one thing." She panted, still trembling. "Surviving it is another."

Jon just chuckled and set his mouth to her torso again, tasting every bit of warm skin. She tasted of sweat and passion and woman. The muscles in her stomach contracted under his lips as they explored. When his tongue dipped into her navel, he could feel her shiver.

He continued slowly down her body, his hands stroked her thighs, urging them further apart until he could lie between them. His fingers traced her most delicate flesh. He shifted the vibrator so that the 'ears' were no longer able to torture her clit and soothed the sensitive nub with his tongue.

"Mmmmm." Brianna spread her legs further, giving him more access. One hand reached down to lace through his hair and hold him close. Despite her er exhaustion and over stimulated nerves, she couldn't summon the will to stop him.

Jon continued to explore and taste, her flavour exploding on his tongue.Tart and sweet and highly addictive. Just like her. The warm supple skin of her inner thighs beckoned him to stroke and kiss.

But her sighs and goosebumps weren't enough. He hid his evil smile and with a flick of a finger, turned the vibrator on again. Her sighs turned to gasps and he could feel the muscles in her thighs clench. His fingers coasted up her smooth thigh over the even more delicate flesh surrounding the gyrating toy to her swollen clit where he rubbed soothingly.

His mouth followed the same path, pausing for several moments to lick and savour the juices oozing from her depths and coating her pulsing flesh. "Sweet.....so sweet."

When his mouth replaced his fingers, soft lips brushing and kissing her nub, his hand skated over her stomach to fondle her breasts and pinch her nipples so that they wouldn't feel neglected.

Brianna's hand released his hair to grip the sheet, an anchor against the waves of sensation threatening to swamp her senses. She groaned.

Jon didn't know how long he'd played, but his swollen cock reminded him that he wanted to play too, and if the big head didn't hurry up, the little head was going to go on its own. Taking a tighter grip on his control, one hand fumbled for the switch on the vibrator, flipping it to high speed.

Brianna cried out, her hips writhing. "Ooooh shit!"

Jon watched for a few moments, absorbing the sight. Then, on the verge of losing control himself, he bent to close his lips around her clit and suckle hard, ensuring she lost hers first.

"Jon!" Her back arched up towards him, her entire body spasming.

He let her ride out her climax for a few minutes, until he just couldn't wait any longer.

Brianna sighed in relief when he turned off the vibrator and finally removed it. But her relief was short lived. Her sigh turned into a groan when the toy was replaced with something equally hard and unyielding, although this one was hot and had a heartbeat. "Jesus!"

Bracing his weight on his elbows, his lips brushed her ear. "My turn."

She shivered as much from the promise in his words as his hot breath in her ear. "You're going to kill me."

He barely had the breath to chuckle. The feel of her sultry flesh engulfing him had taken it from him. He was on the verge of erupting without moving at all. He groaned and rocked against her.

Brianna matched his rhythm, her hands gripping his back. "Oh. Mmmmmm."

"So hot." Jon rasped in her ear. "So tight."  He started to thrust, penetrating slowly and deeply.

His chest hair abraded her tender nipples, hardening them and sending sparks of sensation shooting through her body. Shivering, she raised her legs to wrap around his waist, opening herself even more.

Jon sank even deeper. "Fuck that feels good!"

"Mmmmm." She agreed, kissing his shoulder.

Jon returned the caress, then slid his mouth up her neck and along her jaw. His lips touched hers and clung. Blunt fingertips tangled in thick auburn waves as he licked and sucked her lips. When her mouth opened in response and his tongue dove deep, the rhythm matching that of his lower body.

Brianna moaned, the sweat coating his back making her lose her grip as she tried to pull him closer, urging him to move faster and ease the ache spreading throughout her body. She tore her mouth from his. "More Jon. Harder."

But Jon ignored her pleas, keeping to his slow, steady beat. But it wasn't easy. His breath sawed in and out of his lungs. Sweat  glazed his skin and dripped off his nose and chin. He wouldn't be able to hold off much longer.

Brianna wasn't in any better condition. While her nerve endings were zinging and sparking with his every movement, her muscles were trembling, exhausted from over exertion. Unwrapping her legs from around his waist, she braced her feet on the mattress and lifted her hips to grind against his pelvis.

The tightening in her lower abdomen signaled her building orgasm. Her nails raked down his back as she rode the rising tide. When his head tipped back in reaction, baring his throat, she nibbled and scraped her teeth along his Adam's apple.

The sound he made was somewhere between a groan and a growl. His hips jerked, sending him plunging even deeper, hitting the spot that lit her fuse.

"Oh! Mmmm, yes! Yes! Yes!"

The shaking and spasming of her body under and around him frayed the last tether of his control. Hips pumping, he raced towards the finish, grunting when his release erupted in long jets inside her.

He was still shaking when he withdrew and collapsed onto the bed beside her. While his body felt relieved and relaxed, his mind didn't. He felt......unsettled. He didn't know why and he was too tired to think about it. 

Reaching out, he laced his fingers with Brianna's, but didn't speak. Brianna didn't either - she didn't have the energy. She squeezed his hand in return and drifted off to sleep.


Saturday, March 22, 2014

Chapter 64


Before Brianna could respond - or think of how to - his lips stole her voice. His kiss was different this time. It wasn't demanding or devouring or even intense like his previous kisses. This was gentle, exploring.......seductive. Tongue tasted, lips brushed, then clung, teasing.....inciting.

The way this evening was going to end was inevitable. She couldn't fight her own needs and his. The only question was how they were going to get there.

Brianna groaned, her lips swelling, pulsing, hungry for more. Her hands reached up to clench in the hair on either side of his head, exerting pressure to urge him closer. When he resisted, she licked at him, finally resorting to nipping at his lips, scraping them with her teeth.

Jon chuckled. "Patience Golden Eyes. We're going to take it slow this time."

With the blood already heating and thickening in her veins, slow was not her preference. She frowned. "Why?"

"Because up until now we've always been rushed or impatient. While I enjoyed every minute of it, it was a little selfish. I haven't been as considerate or attentive to you as I should have. I want tonight to be about you and your pleasure."

If that was his goal, he was off to a great start. Brianna's mind was already spinning. She'd never experienced anything like he was describing and didn't know what to expect. That uncertainty - and anticipation - focused her attention and her senses even more on his every movement and every touch.

Agile fingers tugged at the ties to her robe, unravelling the knot and allowing the thick terry cloth to fall away like wrapping paper, revealing the present underneath. As his gaze licked over the vision of her in red silk and lace, he prayed he had enough self control to keep his promise. The tightening in his groin warned him it was going to be a close thing. His mouth went dry. "Jesus! Is all your lingerie like this?"

She shrugged, her lips twitching. "I like the feel of lace and silk against my skin. It's comfortable." The fact that it garnered this type of reaction from the males of the species that got close enough to see it was just a bonus. But she didn't think she'd warn him that the simple nightgown she was wearing was one of her tamer ones. She'd leave him to discover that on his own later.

"For you maybe." He muttered.

Her husky laugh, filled with sensual promise, added fuel to the embers of his arousal, tightening the fit of his pants even more. One callused fingertip traced the scalloped edge of the lace covering her breasts....barely. He watched in fascination as her nipples pebbled and goosebumps appeared on her upper chest. His voice came out as a growl. "You're a tease."

Brianna's eyes narrowed against the ripples of sensation radiating from his tantalizing touch. One feminine brow rose. "Pot and kettle there sweetheart."

Both hands came up to cover her breasts and massage gently. His lips pressed against hers, then backed off until they were barely touching. "I haven't begun to tease."

She felt as much as heard his whispered words. "Mmmmm." Her tongue traced his bottom lip. "Just remember that two can play that game."

He chuckled. "Looking forward to it."

Delicate hands eased him back. Stepping to the side, she start towards her bedroom. "Then come with me."

"Where are you taking me?" He didn't wait for her response before following her down the hallway.

She threw him a sultry look over her shoulder. "To my lair."

"Sounds cozy."

"I've always thought so."

The room wasn't as big as his, but it was a decent size. The decor was modern - mostly neutral colours and black  - accented with rich, warm wood and splashes of colour here and there. Very her, but not exactly what he was expecting from a 'lair'.

Until he looked closer. The textures and fabrics used where down right sensual. The walls had the texture as well as the colour of suede and the lampshades were patterned velvet. The bed - the focal point of the room - was high and wide. The black, brown and white animal print cover that spilled onto the floor was fur, as were the throw rugs on the hardwood floor.

Conservative surface distracting from the sensual truth. Just like her. Jon grinned, pleased that he'd discovered her secret and was about to embark on a quest to explore the depths of that concealed wantonness. He suspected that what he'd experienced so far was only a drop in the ocean of her passion. It was a journey that might well take the rest of their lives. And he was looking forward to every minute of it.

When Brianna reached the bed and started to straighten the rumpled sheets, Jon stopped her with a hand on her arm, turning her to face him. He fingered the terry cloth and remembered the kimono she bought in Japan. She obviously had a thing for textures. "Not the silk one?" 

"This one was closer when you knocked on my door."

Sliding his hands under the open sides of her robe, he eased the cloth over her shoulders and let it drop to to the floor. His thumbs caught the spaghetti straps of her nightgown, letting his calluses scrape her sensitive skin as he nudged them off her shoulders. Her nightgown quickly became a red puddle around her feet, but Jon didn't notice. His attention was riveted on the vision in front of him. His eyes became blue flames licking over her. "Beautiful."

Brianna had to stifle a squeal when she was swept of her feet - literally - and deposited on the bed. Noting that his eyes never left her while he kicked off his shoes and climbed on the bed, she raised her arms over her head in a relaxed pose and waited to see what he would do.

Jon reached out to shove the sheets aside, his mind swirling with ideas and plans. A hard object rolled into his hand. He was about to toss it aside when something about it caught his attention. Extracting it from the satin folds, he studied it, played with the switches, then turned to the woman beside him and raised a brow.

She'd forgotten about dropping the vibrator when he'd arrived. If he was expecting her to be embarrassed he was going to be disappointed. She wasn't a prude, and she wouldn't apologize for or hide her sexual needs and wants from the man wanting the job of meeting them. She shrugged and held out her hand for the toy. "Your knock startled me and I didn't have time to put it away."

"Now let's not be hasty." The vision that popped into his head had his pulse speeding up and his cock pushing against his zipper. He held it out to her but didn't let go when she grabbed it. "Use it."

"Why would I want to do that when I have the real thing right here in front of me?" She wasn't totally opposed. While she'd never done that before - Alex wasn't exactly adventurous in the bedroom when it came to her pleasure - she found the idea....tantalizing. The intense, hot look in his eyes promised pleasure beyond anything she'd experienced before. Anticipation zinged through her body.

"Because I want to watch." He traced a path from her collarbone down between her breasts, over her stomach and coming to rest just above her mound. But rather than watch his finger, he locked his gaze with hers. "I want you to show me what you like, what gives you the most pleasure." His voice deepened. "And I want to watch you come."

Brianna shivered and licked her suddenly dry lips. " I don't know." Setting both hands on her upper chest, she ran them slowly down her torso to her thighs. "I may need some help with the foreplay."

"I think I can help with that." He leaned forward until their lips touched.

The kiss was slow and erotic. Their tongues teased and thrust deep, licked and entwined. Lips brushed, rubbed and clung. Meanwhile, broad palms roamed her torso, agile fingers stroking and caressing.

"Mmmmm." She moaned softly and reached for him. Cotton was not the texture she was looking for and she tugged at his t-shirt until he released her long enough to remove it. She immediately pulled him back into her arms where she could gratify her need to touch him.

Jon set his mouth to her ear, her neck, licking, sucking, lightly nibbling, and tried to ignore the fires igniting under his skin at her touch. But he'd yearned for this for so long, his throbbing cock warned him his self control wasn't strong enough to endure it for long. And if he wanted to fulfil the plan in his head, he needed a little breather.

Pulling away, he sat up and held out the vibrator to her.

Amber eyes locked with blue. Taking a deep breath she relaxed her thighs.

His free hand urged her legs farther apart. He moved the vibrator closer, then hesitated. Not wanting to hurt her, he used two fingers to trace her cleft and slip inside to check her readiness. The hot, humid flesh welcoming his invasion assured him there was no danger of pain.

Still, he watched her face while he inserted the toy, searching for any sign of discomfort. He fit it into place, ensuring the 'ears' rested over her clit as they were designed to do. Flicking the switch, he adjusted the appliance's depth and position using her facial expressions as a guide. "Okay? Is that the right spot?"

"Mmmmm. Yes."

Jon sat back and just watched. He watched the flush of arousal stain her face and upper chest. He watched sweat break out on her upper lip. He watched her chest rise and fall faster and faster as her breaths shortened, her nipples hardening. He watched her hands clench in the sheet and her teeth catch her bottom lip as her passion grew. He watched her hips lift and undulate in response to the gyrating toy inside her.

He watched......and he ached.

When her arousal got to the point where the glazed look in her amber eyes made him wonder if she even remembered he was there, and, needing more, her hands rose to cover and squeeze her breasts, pinching the erect nipples, he couldn't take any more. The constriction of his jeans had gone beyond discomfort and become pain.

He rose to stand beside the bed and undid his belt, never taking his eyes off the writhing woman in front of him. Opening the zipper required a little more attention....if he didn't want to maim himself. Sometimes going commando was a bitch. 

The denim had just cleared his hips when her orgasm wash over her. He kicked out of the pants absently, mesmerized by the sight and sounds. He was tugging off his socks when he saw her hands drift down toward the toy. Tossing them aside, he caught her hands before she could remove it. "No. Not yet."

He pulled until she was cross-wise on the bed, her head at the edge closest to him. This way he could keep control of her hands and have an unobstructed view of her body. "I'm not done yet."

Brianna closed her eyes in response to both the spasms still echoing through her body and his husky voice promising more. The movement and vibration of the toy inside wasn't letting her nerve endings calm down. She'd hadn't completely descended from the peak and it was pushing her back up again. While the toy was somewhat satisfying, it wasn't enough. She wanted more. She wanted him

She opened her eyes to find what she needed right in front of her face. Literally. The height of the bed and their position put his erection, hard enough to stand almost straight out from his body, to be scant inches above her face. She could see the drop of his pre-cum glistening on the very tip.....and her mouth watered.

Using their joined hands for leverage, Brianna pulled herself up enough for her tongue to be able to reach him. She heard his breath hiss through his teeth at her touch and grinned. His salty flavour exploded on her tongue. "Mmmm."

The pulsing in her lower body was drowned out by a desperate need to taste more of him. She explored his length with lips an tongue, tracing the big vein that ran along the underside and sucking as far as she could reach. Leaning back, she took each ball in turn into her mouth.

Jon groaned, his head dropping back onto his shoulders. Streaks of pleasure shot through him with every lick. "Fuck!"

Brianna's low chuckle sounded more like a purr. "Mmmm. Yes please!"

He tugged her towards him until her head could tip over the edge, creating the perfect angle. Without letting go of her hand, he directed his throbbing cock to her mouth, fighting to ignore the stroking of her fingers during the process. 

Brianna opened her mouth wide and took him in, slither her tongue around the swollen head before relaxing her throat and sucking him deep.

"Jesus!" Unable to resist, he started moving his hips, pumping slowly. He didn't know which sight was more erotic, the writhing of her hips and embedded toy, or his hard flesh, shining wet, sliding in and out of her mouth.

As her arousal built, her hips moved faster and faster. He matched her thrust for thrust. Her moans turned to whimpers and she began to suck harder and harder.

When her back arched and tremors shook her body, he pulled back until only the head was still behind her lips. Riding the orgasmic wave, she sucked as hard as she could, her cheeks hollowing with the effort.

"Sugar....I'm gonna..."

His words were cut off by a throttle shout, but she understood and prepared for his explosion. She swallowed and sucked until he was empty.

Withdrawing, he collapsed onto the bed beside her, both of them panting for breath. Feeling her trying to tug her hand from his, brought his attention to their rather uncomfortable position.....and the buzzing near his ear. She shifted again and he realized her problem. Releasing her, he reached out to turn off the vibrator, but didn't remove it. 

Rolling, sliding and tugging, he shifted them until they were lying properly on the bed. When her hand drifted down towards the toy, his arm blocked her before she could reach it. "Uh uh. I'm not done yet." His lips brushed hers. "I want to see how many times you can come."

Her eyes widened, then closed. "Jesus."

It was both a curse and a prayer.


Saturday, March 15, 2014

Chapter 63


Jon refilled his coffee cup. Moving to stand in front of the kitchen window, he sighed. To say events the night of Stephanie's party hadn't gone the way he wanted would be an understatement. Instead of spending a pleasant - very pleasant - evening with Brianna, he'd pissed her off and she'd left. And she hadn't been back. All work had been done by phone, courier and e-mail.

He didn't blame her for being upset. She thought he wanted to use her to scratch an itch, and since he signed her paycheck - was 'bought and paid for' so to speak - she felt like a whore. He got it, he just didn't know how to fix it.

"Okay. Jake and Romeo are asleep, Steph's reading, and Jesse's playing a video game." Desiree informed her brother-in-law as she entered the kitchen, Matt following close behind.

"Thanks."

"I haven't seen Sunshine around lately." Matt observed. "Is she on vacation?"

"No." Jon practically bit out the word.

"Uh oh." Desiree interpreted his tone correctly. "What happened?"

It was several seconds before Jon answered. He shrugged. "I fucked up."

"What? You mean she didn't succumb to your legendary charm and sex appeal?" Matt managed to look shocked.

"Fuck off." Jon scowled at his baby brother. "Asshole."

"Ignore him." Desiree shot her husband an exasperated look. "Tell me what happened. Maybe I can help."

"When I tried to kiss her, she asked me whether I was really ready for a relationship or if I was just looking for a warm body to scratch an itch with."

"And what did you say?"

"That we could just enjoy ourselves and see where it goes. Isn't that a reasonable answer?"

Desiree looked thoughtful. "Maybe for someone who doesn't know you - and what you've been through - as well as she does." She hesitated. "Not to mention Dot's 'plan'. What did she say then?"

Jon grimaced. "That there were a lot of things she'd do to help me, but she wouldn't be my whore. Then she left."

Both Desiree and Matt winced. "Ouch!"

"No shit. So what do I do?"

"What do you want from her?"

"Why do women want to label everything?"

"Stop avoiding the question." Desiree admonished him. "All things considered, it's a reasonable question. She doesn't want to set herself up to get hurt, not to mention risk her job. Remember what happened with her ex....who was also her boss."

Jon stood up to lace the room. “I don't know what I want! All I know is that I'm lonely..."

"And horny." Matt smirked.

But Jon waved his comment aside and shook his head. "As you pointed out, getting sex isn't a problem for me. This isn't about sex...or not just about sex. I want someone I can talk to out of bed. About the kids, music, charitable projects, current events......everything."

"And you can talk to Brianna about all of that stuff?" Desiree figured she knew the answer, but she was making a point.

"Yes. I can talk to her about anything."

"Or just sitting quietly?" When he nodded again, she pushed harder. "And you're comfortable with her around your home and your children?"

"Of course. You know that."

"Uh huh." She agreed. "Sounds to me like you've just answered her question."

Eyes wide, Jon stared at his sister-in-law for a moment, then smiled. "I understand why my brother married you, but what do you see in him?"

Matt flipped him off. "Asshole."



Brianna was sitting in her office going through the day's mail, when she heard movement in Jon's office. She didn't know whether to get up and check it out, or stay put and wait for whoever it was to come to her. If it was Jon, she'd just as soon put off her next face to face meeting with him as long as possible.

Ever since the night she'd walked out of his house, their relationship had become awkward and a little uncomfortable - at least for her. She really missed their easy camaraderie, but she didn't regret what she'd said. If she was going to be with him physically she didn't want it to be some casual, temporary situation. She deserved better than that. It needed to be all or nothing....or at least they needed to give 'all' a damn good try.

She just hoped she hadn't blown any chance she had at finding happiness with Jon....and ruined their working relationship. Aside from everything else, she really did love her job and wanted to continue doing it.

"Hey."

She looked up to see Jon in the doorway connecting their offices. A searching glance at his face revealed some tension, but it didn't appear to be anger. More like....nervousness. "Hey. I didn't know you were coming in today." She glanced behind him. "Did you bring the kids?"

"No. Matt and Desiree took them to a water park, so I decided it was a good time to touch base here." He walked over and took the chair on the other side of her desk. He rubbed his hands on his thighs and glanced around the room. His eyes lit on the papers in front of her. "Is that the mail? Anything important?"

"Just a few invitations and a couple charity ideas that are still in the research stage. Nothing urgent."

He nodded and looked around the room again.

"Jon, is there something on your mind?"

Sighing, he rubbed his palms on his jeans again and nodded. "The last time you were at the house, you asked me a question I couldn't give you a clear answer to."

The tension coiling in her stomach threatened to make her nauseous. "I was out of line, I..."

"No you weren't. You have every right to ask and deserve an honest answer." He took a deep breath. "I......I'm lonely Bri. Not just for physical companionship. I miss having someone - a woman - in my life that I can talk to, out of bed, about my work, my kids, books, movies.....whatever." His gaze met hers. "You're the only woman other than Dot that I've felt that comfortable with in a very long time. And the kids already love you, so there's no concerns there. So, in answer to your question, I'm not interested in just a warm body to scratch an itch with. I'm looking for someone to share my life with. I want a relationship, not a whore."

"A relationship.....with me." She knew she probably sounded like an idiot, but she had to be sure she'd heard him correctly and not just the words she wanted to hear.

"Yes with you. I'd like to give it a try anyway." He frowned. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

She blushed and shrugged.

"Bri? Why do you sound so skeptical?"

She shrugged again. "I'm hardly a beauty queen." She held up her hand to forestall the protest she could see forming on his lips. "Oh I'm not ugly. I've been called attractive. But I have no illusions about my physical attributes. You could have your pick, so yes, I guess I'm a little skeptical."

"Am I hearing ghosts of husband past here?"

Another shrug.

Jon sighed and leaned forward, his hand reaching across the desk for hers. "Bri, regardless of what the asshole you were married to said, I find you very beautiful. Plus, you're smart and incredibly caring and considerate. We have similar likes and dislikes, you understand me and my life, and you fit into it. Why wouldn't I want to try to have a relationship with you?" He smirked. "We already know we're physically compatible." When she snorted, he grinned. "Come on Bri, let's give it a try. What do you say?"

Brianna studied his eyes for several breaths before nodding. "Okay, if you're sure."

"I am." Glancing at his watch, he stood up. "It's after noon. I'm ready for lunch. Let's go."

She eyed him in amusement. "I know it's been a long time since you've dated, but generally it involves issuing an invitation not an order."

Jon grimaced. "Sorry." He cleared his throat. "Would you like to join me for lunch?"

Picking up her purse, she grinned and stood. "I would like that very much."



The first difference Brianna noticed between being Jon's assistant and being his date was that he now walked beside her, matching his steps to hers, rather than striding ahead of her while she rushed to keep up. The second was the way he guided her through the restaurant with the gentle pressure of his hand on the small of her back.

The table they were led to was, while not completely blocked off from the rest of the restaurant, was sufficiently so to ensure their conversation would be private.

"Wine?" Jon asked, his eyes scanning the menu. When she hesitated, he looked up. "Or iced tea?"

He looked so pleased to be able to come up with her preferred summer lunchtime drink, she had to grin. I guess he paid closer attention than I thought. "Tea please."

Their conversation was mostly small talk and they very quickly settled back into their easy, comfortable relationship. Noticing the wait staff standing in small groups chatting, Brianna looked at her watch. It was almost three o'clock. "Wow! So much for getting much work done this afternoon."

"Don't worry, I think your boss will forgive you for slacking off - for one afternoon." He winked.

He escorted her back to the office and prepared to leave for home. Sliding his arms around her waist, he pulled her against his body. His head dipped until his lips could take possession of hers, relieved when she relaxed against him and kissed him back, her arms gliding up his chest to twine around his neck.

Lifting his head, he gazed down at her. "Why don't you come home with me?" He waggled his eyebrows. "I'm sure I can come up with some way of entertaining you."

"I'm sure you could. But aside from the fact that you have four children there that I'm just as sure aren't ready to see a woman - even me - in their father's bed, I don't sleep with men on the first date."

He frowned. "But it's not like we've just met. We've...."

The touch of her lips cut off his protest. "Sorry, but this is our first date. You'll just have to keep it in your pants a little while longer."

He pouted and grumbled but respected her edict.



Later that night, Brianna was feeling like she might have bitten off her nose to spite her face. She hadn't had sex since.....the last time with Jon and she was feeling the strain. More so now that she'd agreed to try and build a long term relationship with him. Knowing how good they were together made the waiting that much worse. The anticipation just might kill her.

In an attempt to relax, she ran a hot bath, pouring in a healthy dollop of her favourite bubble bath. Taking a book and a glass of wine with her, she settled in and soaked for an hour.

It didn't help.

Hoping to ignore it, she climbed into bed and attempted to sleep. After tossing and turning for the better part of an hour, she sighed and took out her vibrator. It was a poor substitute for the real thing, but her craving made it better than nothing.

The knock on her door made her jump and drop the appliance onto the yellow satin sheets. Pulling on her robe she went to see which of her neighbours needed something. Checking the peephole, her lips twitched.

Her smile matched his when she opened the door. "How did you get passed Sam?"

"Is Sam the night guard at the desk?" His smile widened. "He's a fan and has a new girlfriend. He understands romantic surprises."

Her brows rose. "Sounds like you had quite the conversation. I just found out about the new girlfriend today myself."

Jon shrugged. "It's been my experience that it's always a good idea to make friends with security people. You never know when you might need their help." He gestured towards her apartment. "Are you going to let me in?"

"That depends. Why are you here?"


Setting his hands on her waist, he pushed her gently backwards until he was inside and the door clicked shut behind him. He pressed her up against the wall. "It's not our first date anymore."

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Chapter 62


Over the next weeks and months, Brianna thought back on that night often, speculating on what might have happened if he hadn't passed out.....or whether it would have happened at all if he'd been sober. 

She was driving herself insane, alternating between regret at what didn't happen and relief that it didn't, followed by guilt and self-recrimination. The jumble of emotions was tearing her apart.

Her parents were right about one thing: she needed to figure out what kind of relationship she wanted with Jon. She loved the job. The music she loved so much, travelling all over the world, helping develop programs to help the less fortunate....and the challenge of keeping Jon organized and on schedule.

But she'd also grown to love his family, and being a part of it. She loved seeing their faces light up when she walked in. She loved being the one the kids came to for comfort and support. Most of all, she loved that she was able to help them. It made her feel needed and useful. Made her feel.....loved.

It was the one thing missing from her life. The one thing she'd regretted in her life - particularly in her marriage- was not having children to love and nurture and enjoy. Alex had always said he wasn't ready and that he wanted to enjoy their time alone for awhile first. Now she knew he just didn't want kids - at least not with her. She didn't know if she would make a good mother, but she knew she wanted to try. Her age had become an obstacle to that dream coming true. But here was an opportunity, maybe, to rectify that. 

Jon, however, was a different kettle of fish entirely. Her feelings for him were not nearly so clear cut and simple. She admired and respected him as a musician, performer, businessman and philanthropist. She felt sympathy for the man who recently lost his wife and suddenly found himself a single parent to four children.

On a more personal level, she'd felt a connection to him right from the first time she'd met him - before that actually if you counted her reaction on an instinctive level to his music. With her own observations added to Dot's insights and instructions, she felt like she knew him inside and out.

And she liked what she saw.

He was gorgeous and talented.....and could have pretty much any woman he wanted. So why would he choose her when he could find someone prettier, smarter, funnier, more worthy of him? The most obvious answer was because Dot wanted him to.

And that was her stumbling block. She was afraid that she could fall in love with him very easily, but she might never know if he truly loved her or if he was just fulfilling his wife's last request. She wasn't sure she could put her heart on the line like that, even for the best sex of her life.

Her dream ever since she was a little girl was to have a job that fulfilled her and a husband and children to love. Up until now she'd had to settle for one out of three. She needed to decide what she was willing to risk to get the other two.

Of course, all of her stressing and debating could very well be all be for nothing. She'd seen no sign that he saw her as anything more than an employee and occasional bedmate when his need got too strong. That might be because he really wasn't interested in her, or because he just wasn't ready to move on yet. It could be years before he was ready.

The question was: did she want to put her life on hold in the hopes that when he was ready he'd choose her? Or should she take the safer route and continue her search for someone to share her life with?




Jon was in a similar predicament, but like most men, he didn't spend time analyzing his feelings. All he knew was that he was lonely and miserable and he needed to do something about it. As much as he loved his kids, he needed some time away from them with adult company.

The single mothers of the kids' schoolmates, as well as a few of the teachers had made it clear they were available if he was ready to start dating again. He'd talked to some of them, even gone as far as having coffee with a few, but nothing came of it. He just didn't feel a...connection....with any of them. Something was always off. This one was too shallow, that one was too intellectual. Too tall, too short, too young, too old, talked too much, didn't talk enough, only talked about herself, only talked about him, nothing in common......there was always something just not right. 

He'd even tried a couple....accommodating....ladies to see if his problem was just pent ip lust, but it didn't help.

Maybe he needed to widen the search area....but he didn't have the energy. Maybe he just wasn't ready yet.



The day of Stephanie's birthday party was warm and sunny. She'd decided she was too old for a theme party, so tables were set up outside with a few streamers and balloons.

As family and friends gathered, Jon sat at a table and let his family run the show. Scanning the crowd, he took note of where his children were: Romeo and Jake were on the swings with Dorothea's sisters, Stephanie was at another table with some friends, and Jesse was running across the lawn.

While Jon watched, Jesse turned and caught the football that flew to him. A second later, Colton came into view and caught the ball that Jesse threw back at him. Glancing back to the table of girls, Jon saw that Gabrielle had joined them. He didn't bother looking around for their father, he knew David would find him.

His brother found him first. 

"Hey man." Tony took the seat beside him. "How ya holding up?"

Jon shrugged. "Fine."

"Liar." David accused as he sat down. He turned to Tony. "He's lonely."

Tony gestured to the crowd gathered and raised a brow.

"For female companionship." David clarified.

"Ah. Need to get laid?" Tony asked sympathetically.

Jon shook his head.

"Are you sure?" David smirked.

"Tried it. Didn't work." Jon grimaced.

"Ah." Tony said again, understanding what his brother was looking for without him having to try to explain it. He glanced around. "Where's Sunshine?"

David grinned.

Jon ignored him. "Not here yet."

"Is she coming?"

"Supposed to be. She was invited. Told Steph she'd come."

"Then she'll be here." Tony assured him. "She would never let any of you down."

Before Jon could answer, Jake's voice rang out. "BIANNA!"

They all turned to see Brianna hugging Jake with one hand, a brightly wrapped gift in the other.

David nudged Tony and gestured towards Jon. Tony studied his brother's face and grinned. "And here's the answer you've been looking for bro." At Jon's dark look, he grinned. "Don't look at me like that. You came to point like a bird dog when you saw her."

"She's my assistant. Nothing more."

"I'm thinking you need to expand her job description. Put more emphasis on 'personal'." Tony advised. "She's perfect for you."

"That's what I've been trying to tell him." David agreed.

With a growl, Jon stood and headed for the bar.

"Think we're getting through to him?" Tony asked David.

"We're pissing him off, so at least he's hearing us." David considered his friend. "He's got to get over his guilt first though. Both over a sense of betrayal to Dot, and over choosing Brianna for himself and not just because Dot wanted him to."

Tony sighed. "Isn't going to be easy."

"Nope."



"How are you doing Jon?" Linda asked as she stepped up beside him. Together they watched Stephanie open her presents.

"I'm fine."

"Uh huh." Her disbelief was clear. "The kids seem to be doing well."

He nodded. "They still have some bad days, but they're coping."

Opening a present, Stephanie stood to hug Brianna. "Thank you! I love it!"

"She's really been a rock for them." Linda noted.

Jon didn't pretend not to know who she was talking about. "Uh huh."

"It's okay to move on you know. Dot would want you to. She was very clear about that." When he just grunted, she smiled sadly and rubbed his back. "We all miss her, but it's been over eight months. We can't wallow in grief forever. Her greatest wish was for you and the kids to be happy. You know even better than I do what lengths she went to, to try and make that happen." Both of their gazes locked on Brianna. "It's not a betrayal to Dot to find happiness again. It's a betrayal to her not to." She patted his back and walked away.


Several hours later, the backyard and house cleaned up, everyone had left except Brianna who was reading Romeo and Jake their bedtime story. When she came downstairs, she found Jon in the living room, staring out the window.

"The little ones are asleep, and Steph and Jesse are in their rooms."

"Thanks." He turned and frowned at the purse in her hand. "You're leaving?"

"Yeah."

He hesitated, but everyone around him was pushing him in her direction. Maybe they were right. "Why don't you stay the night?"

"Was there something else you wanted me to do?"

Yes, me! He shook his head. "No, but it's getting late to be driving back to the city."

"It's not that late. I'll be home before the news."

"Bri..." He raked a hand through his hair. It had been about thirty years since he'd dated. He had no clue what he was doing. "I'd feel better if you stayed. I don't like the idea of you driving that far alone after dark."

She would have argued that it was only an hour or so, not that far, but something in his eyes told her this wasn't about his over active protectiveness. It was something more. Setting aside her purse she took a seat on the couch. "Okay."

Jon stepped into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of wine and two glasses. Sitting beside her, he poured a glass and handed it to her.

"Thanks."

The conversation covered a range of subjects, from the Soul to charity projects to music, books and movies. The longer they talked the more relaxed Jon became. This is what was missing with those other women. He was comfortable with Brianna. They could talk about anything. Even when she disagreed with him - which happened more than occasionally - he found the discussion stimulating more than irritating.

Brianna leaned her head against the back of the couch and looked at him. "Would you do something for me?"

"What?"

"Get your guitar and play me some of the stuff you've been working on?"

"Really? Sure." Returning with his Takamine, he settled it on his lap and strummed a few chords. "I should warn you, it's pretty rough."

She closed her eyes to listen and felt the impact of lyrics and melody in her gut as well as her heart and mind. The songs were expressions of his grief and sense of loss. But they also spoke of hope and a yearning to find love and happiness again. When the last note faded, she opened shining eyes to look at him. "Beautiful."

Jon set aside the guitar and reached out to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Yes."

They both knew he wasn't talking about the music.

"Jon...." She didn't know how to react.

"Mmmmm?" He leaned over to brush his lips over her ear and nuzzled her neck.

Her hands came up to brace on his chest, fingers curling into his shirt as shivers ran up and down her spine. "What.....what are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" His hands cupped her shoulders and slid down her arms, urging her closer.

"But..." She shivered again before pushing him back. "Why?" She searched his eyes. "What is this? True desire or just needing a warm body to scratch an itch and drive away the loneliness for a little while?"

Jon frowned. "It can be whatever we want it to be."

"What do you want it to be?"

"Why do we have to label it? Why can't we just enjoy ourselves and see where it goes?" He disliked being cornered.

"If I'm going to put myself - and my heart - on the line, I need to know where your head’s at. What you're looking for." In that moment all of her indecision disappeared and she knew what she wanted. "If you're really ready for a relationship that's one thing. I'm willing to do a lot of things to help you and give you what you need." She took a deep breath. "But I won't be your whore."


Sunday, March 2, 2014

Chapter 61


They got through Christmas and New Year's relatively whole. Subdued and sad, but whole.

The worst was on the day after Christmas when Brianna dropped by the house to deliver the presents she'd bought Jon and the kids. Jon's grim face when he opened the door warned her that everything was not 'Merry'.

"Problem?"

He grimaced. "Steph's having a rough day."

"Where is she?"

"Up in her room."

"Do you mind if I..."

"Please!" He waved towards the stairs. "I'm no good at this stuff."

Handing Jon her coat, Brianna started for the stairs.

Stephanie looked up at the sound of a knock on her door and Brianna's voice. "Come in Bri." She reached for a tissue and blew her nose.

"Hi." Brianna sat on the end of the bed and studied the young girl. Red rimmed eyes and the tissues overflowing the garbage can told the tale of tears. The photo album lying open on the covers explained the reason behind them - not that Brianna needed to be told. "Having a rough day?"

Stephanie nodded and drew in a ragged breath.

Brianna reached out to squeeze her hand. "That's perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of. You're going to have days like this. It'll get easier in time."

"Will this pain go away?"

"You'll always miss her, but the pain will get better. It may never completely go away, but it won't hurt this bad forever."

Stephanie nodded. "I miss her so much!" The tears started again.

Brianna shifted to sit beside her and wrapped her arms around her. "I know sweetie, I know." She rubbed Steph's back, letting her emotions run their course. The picture visible in the album made her smile. She reached out and ran a finger over it. "Your mom told me about this one. You put on her clothes and makeup for a Halloween costume."

"I almost fell down the stairs. I broke the heel off one of her shoes....and went through half a tube of lipstick trying to get it right." A weak smile curved her lips. She sniffed. "She was so mad at me."

Brianna stroked her dark hair. "Actually, the whole time she was lecturing you, she was fighting not to laugh. She said you looked like some sort of clown doll."

"Really?"

"Yep. That's why she took the picture. She said the price of the shoes and the makeup was well worth the laugh and memories she got out of it."

They turned a few pages in the album discussing pictures and stories. Eventually, Stephanie began to smile and laugh more easily,

"Feeling better?" Brianna inquired.

"Yeah," Stephanie sighed. Turning, she hugged her friend. "Thanks Bri."

"Anytime sweetie."

"STEPHIE! STEPHIE! COME QUICK! THEYS MORE PESENTS!" Jake burst into his sister's room. Seeing Brianna sitting there, his eyes widened and his face lit up. "Bianna! When you get here?"

"Just a few minutes ago." She exchanged a glance with Stephanie and winked. "Come on. Let's go check out these presents!"

Downstairs, Jake gave his father a baleful glare. "Daddy, how come you no tew me Bianna here?"

Jon glanced at Brianna who was trying not to laugh. "Sorry buddy."

Brianna was sitting on the couch, Romeo on her lap, watching the kids examine their presents, when Jon leaned over from behind her to hand her a glass of wine. "Thanks."

"No, thank you. You're great with them,"

She just shrugged and smiled.

Jon squeezed her shoulder and went back to his chair. Looking around at his smiling family, he felt the pain in his heart ease just a little.




The next couple months were uneventful, except that Jon was starting to go a little stir crazy. The kids were coping well and had gotten back to their normal routine for the most part.

That meant that Jon had more and more time to himself......and he was slowly going insane! He was itching to get back into the studio, but he knew he couldn't leave the kids for weeks at a time yet. The Soul's season was just getting underway, but that only took up a small portion of his time. His charity programs were well run and again only took up a small portion of his time - and that mainly to approve new programs.

He looked at his empty desk and sighed. Damn my efficient assistant!

When his phone rang, he jumped for it. "Hello?"

"Hey man. What are you up to?"

Jon had never been so glad to heat David's voice. "Absofuckinglutely nothing! I'm bored out of my mind."

"Feel up to going out for a little birthday celebration this weekend?"

"Yes! Wait! What did you have in mind?" He'd forgotten who he was talking to for a moment. Giving David carte blanche could be dangerous.

"Nothing too crazy. Just hit a few bars, catch a few bands."

"Okay."

"Who are you going to ask to babysit?"

"Ummmm....." He forgot about that. He'd never had to arrange child care before. "Mom, I guess."

"Why don't you ask Brianna if she'll do it?" David suggested.

"Hmmm. The kids would probably like that better. I know Jake would."

Hanging up, David grinned and finalized his plans for the evening.



"Daddy why you putting other cwoes on?" Jake wandered around his father's bedroom, watching him get ready.

"I'm going out with Uncle Lemma for awhile tonight."

"Oh." He wandered to the window, then turned and frowned. "Who going to wook after us?"

"Bri's going to come stay with you."

The small face so like his own lit up. "Otay! STEPHIE! JESSE! Bianna tomin!"

Smiling, Jon shook his head in amusement and followed his son out of the room.



David waited until they were settled in the second bar and Jon had a handful of drinks under his belt. "So how are you really doing?"

Jon sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "Okay...I guess. I'm bored, but I know the kids aren't ready for me to go on the road yet." He shifted in his chair.

David's lips twitched. "You're all uptight. You need to get laid."

Jon sighed and stared at the golden liquid in his glass. "I'm.....lonely." He acknowledged, then grimaced. "And then I feel guilty....like I shouldn't feel that way when I'm in mourning."

"Mourning. That's kind of an old fashioned word."

Jon shrugged. "Mourning, grieving whatever." He glanced at a group of attractive women walking by their table. He noted their appreciative glances, considered, then ignored them.

"Even grieving men have needs."

Jon shrugged.

"Not interested?"

Jon shook his head.

Blonde brows rose. "Really? Long dark hair, dark eyes, good bodies.......just your type. So....is it mourning and guilt? Or has your type changed? Maybe you prefer auburn hair and golden eyes now. If that's the case, you're all set. You've got one in your house right now."

"I wouldn't do that to her....use her like that. She deserves more."

"So give her more."

In the process of taking a drink, the wine glass froze halfway to his mouth. He stared at his friend, then snorted. "Nice try. Did Dot put you on the payroll?"

"No, I'm just beginning to see what she saw. Think about it. Now that you're back on the market, you'll have your pick of the crop, but you'll have to worry about whether she wants you or your fame and fortune, and whether your kids will like her. With Brianna, you don't have to worry about any of that. And you know you’re good together physically. Hell after Florida I know you’re good together physically." He sipped his drink and shrugged. "Dot was right. She's perfect."

Jon didn't answer. He couldn't argue with anything that his friend had said except.....was he attracted to Brianna because of her or because Dot wanted it? And would Brianna accept him because she cared for him or because it was a dying woman’s wish?

David studied his friend’s face for a moment, then pulled an envelope out of his pocket and held it out. “Here.”

“What’s this?” Jon asked as he took it. The sight of his name in his wife’s handwriting had his stomach clenching. He raised a brow at his bandmate.

“She told me to give it to you when I thought you were ready to move on but your guilt and doubt were holding you back.”

Jon could only shake his head. She knew him so well. Opening the envelope, he braced himself for Dot’s lecture – he knew that’s what it was, because as well as she knew him, he knew her too.

John,

Okay babe, enough grieving. I know you love me and that you miss me, but for your sake as well as the kids' it's time to move on.

You need someone to share your life and take care of you. You don't do a great job of that on your own. You need someone to be your sounding board , who will help you flesh out your ideas, listen to you vent and help you work out your problems. 

And the kids need someone to nurture and care for them. Someone to help you guide them through life, celebrate their successes and heal their hurts.

So stop feeling guilty – and that’s what your doubt is - and find her.

You know I think Brianna would be perfect, but the decision is up to you. Just make sure you find someone who loves you and understands and supports the needs and demands of your career. You won't be happy otherwise.

You're a strong, driven, wonderful man. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be happy. I wish I could be there to help make that happen, but God decided otherwise. That doesn't mean that you stop living too. That's not what I want for you. That's not honouring me, it's DIShonouring what we shared.

So please babe, for me......for all that we were together.......find love again and be happy.

I love you,

Dot



Jon grimaced. "Do see the waitress? Let's get another bottle."



The buzz of the security system signaling the gate opening woke Brianna. She'd been sleeping lightly, listening with one ear for the guys' return. It was the first time she'd been the only adult in the house and her senses were on alert for any unusual noises or sounds of distress from the kids.

Banging and muffled laughter brought her fully awake. A crash had her reaching for her robe and rushing to the stairs. Part way down, she saw Jon and David leaning against the wall, David bracing both Jon and the table he'd stumbled against. "What are you doing? You're going to wake the children!"

"Hi Beautiful!" He turned to Jon. "See? She even sounds like a wife."

Jon pushed him away. "Ass!" He grinned sheepishly up at Brianna. "Sorry Golden Eyes. We'll be quiet." He turned back to David. "Sssshhhhh."

Brianna snorted. "I might believe you if you weren't slurring your words and swaying on your feet. Can you make it up the stairs or do you need help?"

"I'm not drunk!" Jon insisted. "I can climb a fucking flight of stairs!"

"Goony goo goo." David added, then burst into laughter.

"Lord help me, you're both drunk!" She descended to the bottom of the stairs. "Come on. Up you go."

"Don't need help, Golden Eyes, but if that's your way of saying you want to be close to me, I won't say no." He slid an arm around her shoulders and waggled his eyebrows.

Brianna snorted. "Put a knot in it Casanova." She tugged him forward. "Come on." She glanced back over her shoulder. "You too Joker."

"But..." He started to argue, but her look warned him not to. "Yes ma'am."

She made sure David found his way into a spare room, then turned her attention to getting Jon to his.  Inside, she led him to the bed and urged him onto it. He complied, but pulled her with him. A small shriek escaped her as she fell and was rolled beneath him.

His hands came up to frame her face. "So beautiful." His mouth crashed down on hers.

Stunned, Brianna froze, but before she could make a conscious decision, her body made its own. Her lips parted, inviting him in, closing around his tongue when he accepted.

After several minutes, she was able to tear her mouth away. "Jon...."

"Mmm?" He shifted his attention and buried his mouth in her neck.

"Jon..." She shivered at the sparks lighting up her nerves. "Jon, we shouldn't.....the kids...."

Jon sighed heavily, but didn't lift his head.

When he stilled, Brianna bit back a protest, her body cursing her moral standards. After several minutes, he still hadn't moved. She nudged him. "Jon?"

His response was a soft snore. 

"Seriously?" Laughing softly, she managed to roll him onto his back and rose from the bed. She hesitated, considering, then finally undressed him and pulled the blankets over him before exiting the room and closing the door behind her.

Sighing heavily - she refused to acknowledge what she was feeling was regret and disappointment - she sought her own bed.